What does it feel like to be a double decker sandwich?

Not so good actually! Blocked in on both sides. Feeling bad about this situation makes you feel bad about yourself. Most days are dark. Most people don’t understand how you feel. Feel taken advantage of! God is the ONLY thing that offers light or hope. And much of that light or hope comes from faithful children.

Caring for an elderly mother and recently an elderly mother in law defines my double decker image. Not a place I ever expected to be but here I am. It’s a day by day of putting one foot in front of the other, or stumbling over my own feet.

Then there are those from whom I need the most help, seem to be clueless as to what that should look like. Thank you’s are meaningless, when really what I need is some empathetic act that will lessen the load, relieve the pressure, or cheer me up. You know like repairing something that’s been broken for way too long. Or completing a task that has been all but forgotten. Oh, and I’m going to be blunt here, doing something nice for me just because they know I like it so much (though they don’t)! Sigh……

While I certainly feel tested during this time (the demands are overwhelming), my grade hovers around a ‘C’ sometimes but a ‘D’ most often. At least, that’s my take on it. Yet Romans 8:1 contradicts those fiery darts of condemnation I am so swift to embrace right now.

I’ll just hang on, though I’m making no great strides. Just can’t muster the strength to handle this like I know I should or like others think I should. So, I’ll just keep getting up in the morning and go through the motions of what is expected of me. God continues to whisper to me that all this will work together for my good.

Well, the only sure thing in all this is God’s truths that apply to my situation. And though the light is dim, I will continue to walk toward that light. Eventually………

2 thoughts on “What does it feel like to be a double decker sandwich?

  1. I don’t know what to say or what to do to help you! I’m glad you wrote this! It powerfully expresses the plight of all caregivers! I felt that way…once! Sandwiched between a dying husband and a daughter’s tragedy of divorce, (not to mention three wild, hurting teens). I think I did exactly what you are doing! As you know I Always look to the bright side, I guess that is how I stayed sane! 1,000 gifts was helpful! Reading Karen Kingsbury’s book on the Baxter family and friends like you got me through! I am here for you and mi casa es su casa! Love you, my friend!
    Here’s a thought…I’ll move in out there and we’ll care give together! I’m serious! Pray about it!

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  2. My heart is aching for you! We have been there and still are. Our sandwich has decreased some. Without God all is hopeless. “All things do come together for good for for those that Love the Lord, for His purpose”. Hugs and prayers for you. We always clung to doing what is right and honoring . Did we do it perfect, No, not even right sometimes probably, but we didn’t give up. Felt like it many days, but we sleep good at night knowing that we are and did the best we could. We are grateful God still thinks we are worthy. We will pray God reminds you, you are worthy, beautiful and a Daughter of the Most High King. Lots of love to ya’ll
    Cathie

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