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Roller Coaster Riding

Jun30

Well, today I am going to be a bit transparent. As I live my life (turning 77 soon!) I’m discovering that life doesn’t, necessarily, improve with age. You might think that the gray hair, wrinkles, and/or physical decline would present the greatest challenges. But for me, that is not the case. I’m learning to accept that as the realities of growing old. Not much fun but it’s reality. I’m learning, with God’s grace, to accept the inevitable. Besides, it’s what’s on the inside that really matters.

However, my greatest struggle occurs when I ponder the future. My husband and I have four children and children in laws, plus ten grandchildren. Yet, they all live in other cities, states, and even continents. Thus, most of our days are spent facing the challenges of maintaining our house and property on our own. In addition, all of which is complicated by our dwindling physical capabilities. While I love my country home and the serenity of its setting, the future is colored with darkened shades.

On the other hand, there are days when my faith surges strong. When I look into the future during such times, hope shines bright, and the darkness is dispelled. But then the fiery darts strike and doubt and fear do their dirty work. It’s like a roller coaster of emotions. My self-centered sinful nature fighting with my God-centered Christlike nature.

Here’s what I have recently determined. I am always going to ride this roller coaster. But on those days when my faith surges, it’s typically because a promise from Scripture sharpened my focus. I had spent time with God in prayer and His word. While He held my attention He reminded me of something I had let slip my mind. For example:

In reading Matthew 6:26, God reminds me He is faithful to sustain the birds of the air. So if He does that for the birds, He will more than do that for me. How can I believe this? Because I am much more valuable to God than the birds.

Additionally, there’s this word in Philippines 4:19, where God reminds me that He will provide all my needs according to His riches. And I can trust Him to keep His promises.

It’s only when I loose my focus of the above truth thoughts, can the fiery darts get past the threshold of my mind. As I am reminded from my book, “Above all, we must be especially alert against the beginnings of temptation, for the enemy is more easily conquered if he is refused admittance to the mind and is met beyond the threshold when he knocks.” FD’s 3rd edition, page 34

In conclusion, I have determined I must do two things: 1) be consistent in spending time with God daily in prayer and His word 2)Take to heart when God’s Spirit points out a truth to me. And by the way, live in the present. Allow God to take care of my future. Don’t allow worry to cloud up my days.

Embracing Contentment: Life Lessons in Winter – Part 2

Jun6

Initially as we approach our declining years, we find ourselves at a crossroads. It all sounds a bit overwhelming, doesn’t it, and if we aren’t careful, it will be. Personally, in comparison, the season of winter has been the most trying and challenging.

Until this season there was always the activities of caring and enjoying my family and friends, serving in my church, and teaching school. Without these fulfilling and purposeful activities, I struggled to find my purpose. I was tempted to see the road ahead as dull and unfulfilling! Yet I knew that sort of vision, if it persisted, would lead to major fiery dart attacks. I also knew that God had better plans for me.

However, the word that surfaces most often in my head these days is ‘contentment.’  I’m discovering contentment, while desirable, isn’t all that easy to come by. Nonetheless, that’s what I desire in this season. Therefore, I have persisted in my pursuit to be content. I’m finding, however, it isn’t automatic! It’s not something I can have just because it’s a better option. You know how I discovered that? Well, I direct you to:

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 

Did you catch that word ‘learned?’ Well, I didn’t ‘catch’ it until I found myself in short supply of contentment. It just wasn’t happening for me to make up my mind to be content. Ugh! This was challenging. As I returned to that verse again and again, the light finally clicked on. Contentment is a learning process. I had to learn to be content. Day by day, step by step!

I’m learning in this season that every moment is holy because God is present, no matter the circumstances,  He is present with me in all my situations, even if the situations are difficult to bear. God reminds me there is no need for me to fear for He is with me; I do not have to be dismayed, for He is God, He will strengthen me and help me. His presence assures me of this, as well as His word.

While bouts of loneliness, uncertainty, and/or sadness threaten my contentment at times, I’m learning that focusing on truths like Isaiah 41:10, is a game changer. Fiery darts such as these can be conquered when contentment rules. And that is a wondrous thing to learn in the winter season of my life. Yours too, I pray!

The Winter Season of Life – Part 1

May27

One of the common characteristics of the winter season of life is facing loss. Loss of physical strength or the onset of illness takes center stage. No matter how much we fight it, our strength will wane. Additionally, the loss of those we know and love increases with the announcement of ever increasing obituaries.

Yet, here we are. The winter of life is upon us. With every loss, no matter its characteristic, we are brought closer to the reality that life here on earth is but temporary. Something the previous seasons of life kept us too occupied to consider. Until now our desire to accumulate more for ourselves was an ongoing motivation. That isn’t the case now. Decluttering and lessening the demands of our accumulations is something we give consideration to in our later years. 

For many of us, our children have ventured onto paths that have lead them to places that have placed them inconveniently out of reach. Where once our days were satisfied with caring for their needs and enjoying their presence, their absence leaves a lonely void. Whether they live nearby or far away. The harsh cold truth is, they don’t need us anymore in the same way they use to.

Formerly, the manner in which we lived our lives contributed to our fulfillment of purpose. But with retirement and an empty house, that sense of purpose or usefulness has dramatically been altered. Add that to the limitations age presents us with, either by physical decline or illness, there just isn’t a lot to look forward to.

Another lesson, much more challenging, is learning to prevent past failures and mistakes from intruding into our present. Intrusions which dictate troubling attitudes and actions. When we allow ourselves to be reminded of the regrets of our past, they will build in force. And unless we learn to counter their attacks, we will find ourselves fighting a loosing battle.

Learning how to repel the negative thoughts (you remember, Fiery Darts) in order to replace them with positive thoughts (or Truth thoughts) is a constant battle, I’m afraid. But then I’m reminded of this question from my book,  “Do I want to spend the rest of my life successfully warding off fiery darts, or do I want to remain a victim of them?” (p 65, FD 3rd Edition)

In Part Two, I will delve further into life’s winter season and offer insights as to how to clear away the clouds of uncertainty that can accompany these dark days.

The Realities of this season…

May11

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Growing old wasn’t so hard when I was in my 50’s and 60’s. Yet now that I’m in my 70’s, it’s as they say, “A whole new ball game!” The rules are different along with the conditions. The 70’s are proving to far more challenging. Last November my mother passed away at 100. For the first time in my life, I was forced to walk the path of my life without her presence. Without her input, without her support, without her assistance. That’s left a lot of empty spaces. It’s like entering a room where everything has changed but you still have to navigate a way through it, only without the familiar markers of the past.

The physical aches and pains of growing old are a cold reality in my 70’s. I can no longer skirt around the term ‘elderly.’ I am now one of those. And during the scope of the argument my body revolts at fully applying myself to the requirements of caring for and maintaining yard and home.

Now a new shadow has been cast upon the whole scene, as my best friend has fallen victim to cancer– she has been one of my most consistent reprieves to keep all this in balance. She always filled in the gap when three of my four children and their families moved out of state and one out of country. Taking in a movie, going for a bike ride, shopping therapy, doing lunch and even making road trips now and then provided the company I missed out on when my children moved away. Her godly counsel directed my thoughts towards an attitude that was more pleasing to God. Kept my mind directed towards pleasing God; not getting my own way or wallowing in self-pity.

The days ahead appear dark and lonely or so that is what the enemy would have me believe. My challenge at present is to pick up the weapons God has given me to thwart the enemy’s plan.



Ecclesiastes 3:1, ASV, For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven:

Isaiah 46:4, NLV, Even when you are old I will be the same. And even when your hair  turns white, I will help you. I will take care of what I have made. I will carry you, and will save you.

Ruth 4:15, NIV, He will renew your life and sustain you in your old age

2 Cor. 4:16, NKJV, Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day.



Desiring a better country…

Nov4

October 19, 2022 as Mother lay in her own bed, in her own home, with family keeping vigil, she drew her final breath. She left her earthly country home for her heavenly country home. Her life here may have spanned a hundred years, but it was never designed to be her permanent home. It was never meant to be. Her earthly life was the proving ground for the home God was preparing for her in heaven.

As a young adult she gained citizenship into her heavenly country by accepting personally Christ’s death and resurrection. Then lived out her life guided by the precepts of her destined heavenly home. Expectedly, the growing up years of my siblings and I were flavored with these principles.

Therefore, the celebration of her transition to her new country home played out against that background. A background that colored all that we experienced in the present with the shades of God’s love and plans for us individually. As she loved her family unconditionally, she represented the unconditional love of God for His children. While we messed up on more than one occasion, all of us knew that Mother’s love and forgiveness was as constant as the sun rising. It’s the same with God.

During Mother’s home going and celebration of life afterwards, reminders of God’s tender care of those He loved continued to unfold. The fulfillment of Mother’s longing to live in her own house in her declining years and to transition from there to her heavenly home was, I believe, God’s gift to her faithfulness. God’s finishing touch was in holding back the predicted rain and gifting us with the splendor of a exquisite autumn day as we said our final goodbye’s at the cemetery.

Family bonding grew even stronger as we came together to celebrate her life. It was family that conducted the funeral. So we all were intricately woven. That’s God’s plan is it not, to bring family together in such times to share the strength God has given each of us. And in doing so, we are able to go out from that place stronger than when we came. Maybe even finally to have the realization to lay aside those choices that have distracted us and prevented us from honoring God with our lives. Or even blocked our way to understanding what it meant to have a personal relationship with God.

Mother’s home going reminded all of us that life in this earthly country is not permanent. The day WILL come when we will experience the outcome of our personal choices here on earth. It’s unavoidable. Desire a better country, as Mother did.

The Season of Caretaking…

Mar8

Advancing to the season of caring for elderly parents has the potential to create a major shift in how we live and even view life. Suddenly, long anticipated plans must be reconsidered. Adjustments in the ebb and flow of daily routines must be rearranged. Physical accommodations of living space need to be appraised. Financial aspects of this arrangement require careful planning. It’s a load that at times can be overwhelming. Our enemy is ever present wielding his weapon of choice in taking advantage of the negatives of this shift to darken our outlook.

But though our focus might be tempted to see only what seems to be an ever lingering uphill climb, we can take measures that will foster a new balance. There are many helpful resources that we can draw upon to provide what is needed to care for our elderly parents. Yet, the main resource, the one true extinguisher of such darkness, is located in the Bible. It’s the map that will guide us in the choices we need to make and how to deal with the problems that arise. For instance:

When we reach the point where we don’t know where to turn, it’s the lamp that will light our way.

When the sacrifices arise that we willingly or unwillingly have to make, we need ‘how to’ advice on what that looks like.

When the logistics and the daily in’s and out’s of caretaking, begin to weigh us down we need a place to cast those burdens.

When we feel we just don’t have what it takes to handle this upheaval in our lives successfully, we need a place to turn to to regain our strength and footing.

And sometimes we just need to be reminded of who we are truly serving.

Yes, sometimes God calls us to a season of caretaking that requires a great deal of self-denial, And even in that there is a source of joy to be discovered.

May my heart never grow tired. . .

Feb9

As I grow older, I’m 73 at present, there are three particular verses of Scripture that have more of an impact on me now than ever before.

Isaiah 46:4

Isaiah 46:4, Even when you are old I will be the same. And even when your hair turns white, I will help you. I will take care of what I have made. I will carry you, and will save you.NLV

As the changes assault my body it sure lifts my spirits to know that my God changes not. The older I grow the more I will need help. And who greater to supply that than the One who made me. The help and care He showers on me never ceases.

Ruth 4:15a

Ruth 4:15a, He will renew your life and sustain you in your old age.HCSB

What do I have to look forward to as I age? According to the verse in the book of Ruth, God’s plan is to renew my life. I have already discovered how God manages this for me through my children and my grandchildren. The blessings He has given me in additional ways sustain me continually. There are multiple evidence on a daily basis of God’s efforts to sustain me. IF I have the eyes to see them.

2 Corinthians 4:16

2 Corinthians 4:16, So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. ES

And this verse is my anchor. Yes, I can’t do what I use to do. And no matter how much I dislike it or complain about it, it will continue to wear out. Additionally, a negative complaining attitude will draw my focus away from the renewal process of God’s intent.

* * *

I read recently about a 101 year old Laotian man who for 80 years has been a follower of Christ. For many of those years he has served as pastor of a large congregation. But as his body weakens, he is no longer able to pastor. Instead, he occasionally opens services with prayer, and continues to visit and pray for those who are sick. Here is his perspective on growing old.

“My heart has just wanted to serve the Lord since I was 20 years old. Now I am tired physically, but my heart is not tired for the Lord’s work. Though my outward body is declining, I pray my inner self is renewed daily.”

May my heart never grow tired of serving my LORD!