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Roller Coaster Riding

Jun30

Well, today I am going to be a bit transparent. As I live my life (turning 77 soon!) I’m discovering that life doesn’t, necessarily, improve with age. You might think that the gray hair, wrinkles, and/or physical decline would present the greatest challenges. But for me, that is not the case. I’m learning to accept that as the realities of growing old. Not much fun but it’s reality. I’m learning, with God’s grace, to accept the inevitable. Besides, it’s what’s on the inside that really matters.

However, my greatest struggle occurs when I ponder the future. My husband and I have four children and children in laws, plus ten grandchildren. Yet, they all live in other cities, states, and even continents. Thus, most of our days are spent facing the challenges of maintaining our house and property on our own. In addition, all of which is complicated by our dwindling physical capabilities. While I love my country home and the serenity of its setting, the future is colored with darkened shades.

On the other hand, there are days when my faith surges strong. When I look into the future during such times, hope shines bright, and the darkness is dispelled. But then the fiery darts strike and doubt and fear do their dirty work. It’s like a roller coaster of emotions. My self-centered sinful nature fighting with my God-centered Christlike nature.

Here’s what I have recently determined. I am always going to ride this roller coaster. But on those days when my faith surges, it’s typically because a promise from Scripture sharpened my focus. I had spent time with God in prayer and His word. While He held my attention He reminded me of something I had let slip my mind. For example:

In reading Matthew 6:26, God reminds me He is faithful to sustain the birds of the air. So if He does that for the birds, He will more than do that for me. How can I believe this? Because I am much more valuable to God than the birds.

Additionally, there’s this word in Philippines 4:19, where God reminds me that He will provide all my needs according to His riches. And I can trust Him to keep His promises.

It’s only when I loose my focus of the above truth thoughts, can the fiery darts get past the threshold of my mind. As I am reminded from my book, “Above all, we must be especially alert against the beginnings of temptation, for the enemy is more easily conquered if he is refused admittance to the mind and is met beyond the threshold when he knocks.” FD’s 3rd edition, page 34

In conclusion, I have determined I must do two things: 1) be consistent in spending time with God daily in prayer and His word 2)Take to heart when God’s Spirit points out a truth to me. And by the way, live in the present. Allow God to take care of my future. Don’t allow worry to cloud up my days.

Embracing Contentment: Life Lessons in Winter – Part 2

Jun6

Initially as we approach our declining years, we find ourselves at a crossroads. It all sounds a bit overwhelming, doesn’t it, and if we aren’t careful, it will be. Personally, in comparison, the season of winter has been the most trying and challenging.

Until this season there was always the activities of caring and enjoying my family and friends, serving in my church, and teaching school. Without these fulfilling and purposeful activities, I struggled to find my purpose. I was tempted to see the road ahead as dull and unfulfilling! Yet I knew that sort of vision, if it persisted, would lead to major fiery dart attacks. I also knew that God had better plans for me.

However, the word that surfaces most often in my head these days is ‘contentment.’  I’m discovering contentment, while desirable, isn’t all that easy to come by. Nonetheless, that’s what I desire in this season. Therefore, I have persisted in my pursuit to be content. I’m finding, however, it isn’t automatic! It’s not something I can have just because it’s a better option. You know how I discovered that? Well, I direct you to:

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 

Did you catch that word ‘learned?’ Well, I didn’t ‘catch’ it until I found myself in short supply of contentment. It just wasn’t happening for me to make up my mind to be content. Ugh! This was challenging. As I returned to that verse again and again, the light finally clicked on. Contentment is a learning process. I had to learn to be content. Day by day, step by step!

I’m learning in this season that every moment is holy because God is present, no matter the circumstances,  He is present with me in all my situations, even if the situations are difficult to bear. God reminds me there is no need for me to fear for He is with me; I do not have to be dismayed, for He is God, He will strengthen me and help me. His presence assures me of this, as well as His word.

While bouts of loneliness, uncertainty, and/or sadness threaten my contentment at times, I’m learning that focusing on truths like Isaiah 41:10, is a game changer. Fiery darts such as these can be conquered when contentment rules. And that is a wondrous thing to learn in the winter season of my life. Yours too, I pray!

The Winter Season of Life – Part 1

May27

One of the common characteristics of the winter season of life is facing loss. Loss of physical strength or the onset of illness takes center stage. No matter how much we fight it, our strength will wane. Additionally, the loss of those we know and love increases with the announcement of ever increasing obituaries.

Yet, here we are. The winter of life is upon us. With every loss, no matter its characteristic, we are brought closer to the reality that life here on earth is but temporary. Something the previous seasons of life kept us too occupied to consider. Until now our desire to accumulate more for ourselves was an ongoing motivation. That isn’t the case now. Decluttering and lessening the demands of our accumulations is something we give consideration to in our later years. 

For many of us, our children have ventured onto paths that have lead them to places that have placed them inconveniently out of reach. Where once our days were satisfied with caring for their needs and enjoying their presence, their absence leaves a lonely void. Whether they live nearby or far away. The harsh cold truth is, they don’t need us anymore in the same way they use to.

Formerly, the manner in which we lived our lives contributed to our fulfillment of purpose. But with retirement and an empty house, that sense of purpose or usefulness has dramatically been altered. Add that to the limitations age presents us with, either by physical decline or illness, there just isn’t a lot to look forward to.

Another lesson, much more challenging, is learning to prevent past failures and mistakes from intruding into our present. Intrusions which dictate troubling attitudes and actions. When we allow ourselves to be reminded of the regrets of our past, they will build in force. And unless we learn to counter their attacks, we will find ourselves fighting a loosing battle.

Learning how to repel the negative thoughts (you remember, Fiery Darts) in order to replace them with positive thoughts (or Truth thoughts) is a constant battle, I’m afraid. But then I’m reminded of this question from my book,  “Do I want to spend the rest of my life successfully warding off fiery darts, or do I want to remain a victim of them?” (p 65, FD 3rd Edition)

In Part Two, I will delve further into life’s winter season and offer insights as to how to clear away the clouds of uncertainty that can accompany these dark days.

The Voice to Listen to…

Jul23

My most difficult battles are fought within the arena of self! As a Christian, I understand that I am made up of my body, soul, and spirit. My body while alive on this earth is in a constant civil war between my soul (ruled by my flesh) and my spirit (ruled by God’s Holy Spirit at the point when I believed in and accepted Christ). But I must choose who rules. And therein lies the struggle.

For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.Galatians 5:17

*For too many years, I experienced more defeat than victory. (Fiery Darts 3rd Edition, p. 14) And it wasn’t until God made me aware of the weapons (fiery darts) of Ephesians 6:16 that I began to understand why.

As a young adult (that’s been a long time ago now!), I succumbed to the enemy’s main line of attack: keeping me distracted from daily spending time with God in prayer and in His Word. I naively thought that by attending church faithfully, reading my Bible now and then, praying often, taking to heart the Truths I heard in sermons, and just basically trying to be a good Christians that would suffice in overcoming the attacks from the enemy. I would have victories, yes, but some of my greatest failures occurred during those years. Why?

By not setting aside daily time with God in prayer and the reading of my Bible, God’s Spirit within me was simply not getting fed enough . I fell prey to human reasoning and false assumptions fed to me by my flesh. The weapons I needed to fight my battles successfully were within the pages of Scripture. By not availing myself to God’s instruction on what the weapons were and how to use them, my vulnerability to the manipulation and deception of the enemy increased.

Now that I’m older and thankfully wiser (due to the instruction from God’s word about the weapons available to me), I am more alert to the enemy’s attacks. Thus my victories have increased. For example, as a 76 year old, I have questions about my future. How much more time I might have left with my children and grandchildren? Will I still have decent health or not? Will I still be able to stay in my home? If I’m not careful those questions (note they are all self-centered) will pop up in my mind and my flesh will attempt to grab them. Fear, despair, doubt, worry, all stand by, on the ready to receive the baton and run.

But God has taught me a cleaver trick. He asks me a question of His own when those questions arise. “Whose voice is speaking to you?” Because I have learned from time spent with God in prayer and His word, I have been made aware of the following:

God gives us the ability to think. We are capable of our own independent thoughts and we will frequently have thoughts such as “I’m hungry” or “I’m tired.” But it’s also important to keep in mind that the enemy will also speak to us in the form of thoughts in the first-person singular, such as “I can’t do this.” We must take those thoughts and determine if they are consistent with God’s word.

Thus I knew that thoughts of my future that invoked fear, despair, doubt, or worry were not consistent with God’s word. For example, God tells me in 2 Timothy 1:7, that He has not given me the spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a strong mind. In Philippians 4:6-7, I’m reminded, Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. These are just two examples (they are in abundance in the Scriptures) of how to distinguish between God’s voice and the enemy’s voice.

So when these negative questions arise originating in my flesh and influenced by the enemy, I counter them with this prayer based on Isaiah 54:17, May this weapon formed against me not prevail… It stops there. The battle is won.

But allow me to add those fiery darts will return again and again. It’s not a one time battle. As long as we live we will wage war with the enemy. He won’t give up, until we are secure in heaven. It’s just the truth of the matter. But thankfully God sent Christ to secure our heavenly home and equip us with the weapons we need to fight successfully against our enemy, Satan, while we live here on earth.

*Remember, my book Fiery Darts: Satan’s Weapon of Choice can be purchased as an e-book. If you are interested, please check the sideboard.

The Season of Caretaking…

Mar8

Advancing to the season of caring for elderly parents has the potential to create a major shift in how we live and even view life. Suddenly, long anticipated plans must be reconsidered. Adjustments in the ebb and flow of daily routines must be rearranged. Physical accommodations of living space need to be appraised. Financial aspects of this arrangement require careful planning. It’s a load that at times can be overwhelming. Our enemy is ever present wielding his weapon of choice in taking advantage of the negatives of this shift to darken our outlook.

But though our focus might be tempted to see only what seems to be an ever lingering uphill climb, we can take measures that will foster a new balance. There are many helpful resources that we can draw upon to provide what is needed to care for our elderly parents. Yet, the main resource, the one true extinguisher of such darkness, is located in the Bible. It’s the map that will guide us in the choices we need to make and how to deal with the problems that arise. For instance:

When we reach the point where we don’t know where to turn, it’s the lamp that will light our way.

When the sacrifices arise that we willingly or unwillingly have to make, we need ‘how to’ advice on what that looks like.

When the logistics and the daily in’s and out’s of caretaking, begin to weigh us down we need a place to cast those burdens.

When we feel we just don’t have what it takes to handle this upheaval in our lives successfully, we need a place to turn to to regain our strength and footing.

And sometimes we just need to be reminded of who we are truly serving.

Yes, sometimes God calls us to a season of caretaking that requires a great deal of self-denial, And even in that there is a source of joy to be discovered.

True Beauty is Ageless

Jan28

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   Growing old in our culture (the United States that is) can be quite discouraging and challenging. Contributing to this dilemma, is society’s obsession with an outward image. To be beautiful is to be young and agile. Beauty, therefore, is defined by an outward image. 

   If we buy into this definition, we become targets of the enemy’s fiery darts.  Thus, we may find ourselves laboring to maintain an outward youthful image. So where will that leave us when our hair turns gray, our skin has lost its elasticity, or the wrinkles in our face refuse to be concealed?

  Recently, I witnessed someone who is a contradiction to society’s definition of what is beautiful. She is an elderly woman, a former high school teacher of mine. I watched her as she slowly and carefully (and I might add gracefully) ascended the steps to her destination. While her hair is gray, and she is obviously not as agile as she once was there is one thing about her that has remained constant–her inner beauty. To me, she is as beautiful now as she was when she was my favorite high school teacher (when society only noticed her outward beauty). However, the nature of her beauty did not grow dim with age. 

   Of course, it’s not that we shouldn’t strive to look our best. It’s just that we need to understand that our true beauty comes from within. What’s on the outside will fade in time, no matter our efforts. 

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes.

Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 1 Peter 3:3-4

Growing old certainly has it downers!

Jun7

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   For example, when I look in a mirror, or decide to move after sitting for a spell! Or my energy level gives out before I’m finished with a project. And I’m always on the lookout for a hairstyle  that doesn’t shout out to anyone who notices it that I am an old woman. 

Living in a world that is obsessed with outward appearances,

    I’m nagged with the fiery dart of over focusing on how I look on the outside. Just watch tv for a few minutes and you will see what I mean. So how do I resist such temptations? The Truth thought to undo this temptation is 2 Samuel 16:7, “For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.” (Whew, that’s a comfort!)

   I want to see myself through God’s eyes, not man’s.

     I have the desire to travel to the 3rd world country where my son and his family will be living after stateside. I did get to go once–living in the bush, struggling at times, but I did it! And I was no spring chicken!

     Next year I will be visiting my son, daughter in law, and 2 grandsons while my son is studying overseas.  I am ecstatic about that! But realistically, as my age increases, my visits might diminish. 

So, I fight the fiery dart of fear

that my health might play out, preventing me from making such trips. 

Self-Awareness is good.  Self-centeredness, not so good.

    I do want to be more self aware so that I can be realistic about my limitations, but I know I must be careful to resist the temptation to overdo the self-focusing. I don’t want to forget that I live my life for Christ. I want to focus on the Truth that

“it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.” Galatians 2:20  

     Besides, too much self-focusing narrow’s one’s vision! And that would make me more vulnerable to Satan’s fiery darts. Nope, don’t intend on cooperating with the enemy on that one. Instead, if I’m smart, I will make a mature (I’m old enough) decision to cooperate with God’s plans. 

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

If I make that my focus, then I need not fear growing old! For I will make my plans as God leads, trusting Him to give me what is needed, when it’s needed to fulfill those plans. Like it says in 2 Corinthians 9:8. (Won’t miss out on anything that way!!!)