Hmm, Thanksgiving ’23 has been a challenge in spite of all the plethora of blessings God has showered upon me, especially lately. After returning home from a wonderfully long visit with my son and his family (who now live on another continent), the memories of the blessed surprises (one of my daughters and her two daughters showed up unexpectedly the week before I was to leave and then flew home with me) carried me for several days. Being back home in the quiet and peacefulness of my country residence kept the fiery darts at bay. But as life picked up its pace, and the problems of dealing with the harsh changes that had taken place in my life, prior to and while I was out of the country, gained reentry into my thoughts.

For the last few weeks, I have it seems, not had much success in resisting the downward pull of these heartbreaking losses I have endured over the past year. In spite of daily seeking guidance and strength within God’s word. The thoughts of my flesh battled constantly with the thoughts from God’s Holy Spirit. You see, I am keenly aware of the inner battle between the two. But I still felt I was loosing ground. If you have read my recent posts, in particular regarding the loss of five extremely significant loved ones in my life, then it will make sense as to why depression lingered menacingly at the door of my mind.

Now, it’s Thanksgiving Day, and I’m expected to feel thankful even in the face of such losses? How do I find my new normal without a best friend to share life with? Added to that sad fact is that my husband and I sit here alone. (admittedly just for today. One of our four children’s family will visit us on Saturday)!

All along, I have been persuaded that the impediment to my lack of victory regarding my present dilemma was, simply put, ‘me’! I was suffering from the “Oh, woe is me” malady. Or, it’s all about me perspective!

A few days ago, I was presented with these verses:

Psalm 27:13-14, I am certain that I will see the LORD’s goodness in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be courageous and let your heart be strong. Wait for the LORD.

That said to me, “Stop fighting this battle within your head on your own. Just wait for the goodness I will be sending you. In the meantime, allow Me to supply you with the courage and strength you need.“

Therefore, I waited as I burrowed into my daily secluded existence. And now it is Thanksgiving Day! As I waited I have experienced God working out several irritations and disappointments, as well as working out problems that proved to be blessings for me. A few of those irritations have been simmering for years! Add that to the podcast I randomly chose to listen to early this morning entitled A Prayer of Thanksgiving, and the strength to lay aside the encumbering self consuming pattern of my thinking, began to take effect.