The more I learn about fiery darts, the more my awareness of their deadly work increases.  In this post, I would like to point out how things we say can set up another to have a major struggle with fiery darts.  At this point I haven’t quite figured out how to resolve this dilemma but here’s what I have noticed.

As an example, let’s say someone says something to you of a critical nature.  You receive their words and  the floodgate is opened to a variety of fiery darts.  The struggle is on, while you try to thwart each attack with Isaiah 54:17,

“No weapon that is formed against you will prevail.”

 You try to not overreact and try to respond reasonably, yet you cannot deny that your feelings have been hurt. Obviously, their criticism is unjust and now your struggle is weighted down by trying to figured out how you can respond without accepting blame you do not deserve but at the same time be open to see their side of it.  The onslaught of attacks are only intensified at this point, for  your resolve to stand strong against the fiery darts and their critical words begins to wear on you.

But you keep going back to the Truth of the particular situation and with a great deal of help from God, you find your footing.

THEN

you find out they were only teasing and even though they know you didn’t ‘get it’, they remain insensitive to the pain inflicted by their negative teasing. So now, you’ve got a new phase of fiery darts to deal with, ugh!  It’s not as easy to laugh at yourself as it is for the person who criticized you in jest, but you try. What do you do with that real pain you struggled with?  Does it never end?

Well, you move on, determined to not allow this to negatively affect the relationship but wondering if you should have a frank conversation with this person about the carelessness and insensitivity of their little joke.  But wait, if you do, will they take you seriously or will they just say you’re making a mountain out of a molehill?  The last thing you want is to make an honest appeal to them concerning your feelings only to have them be lightly or casually dismissed.

In this example, can you see how we set each other up to be attacked by fiery darts?  I think situations like this can be remedied by making sure that our intentions or meanings to what we say are clearly received by others.  And if we aren’t sure about the intention of something said to us, then we should ask a simple question like, “Are you saying …….?”  Then too, keeping the following verse in mind, could help a lot–especially when we are in teasing mode:

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”  Ephesians 4:29

Just a thought.  What do you think?