Today’s post is going to be a bit personal.
For quite sometime now, I’ve been threatened by an annoying dark cloud lurking on the periphery of my thoughts. For the most part, I’ve been able to avert its intrusion. I realize, because I wrote a book about it, that fiery darts are the culprit. Therefore, holding up my Shield of faith, sustains me.
But lately, while I’ve not lost my resolve to reject these fiery darts and to replace them with Truth thoughts, I’ve come too close to the brink of despair and that bothers me. I’ve struggled to find the word that would label this battle, feeling that if I could know what I was fighting, I would be more savvy in choosing my weapons. And I did come up with the label, ‘bewildered!’
Yes, that did help but not entirely. This negative storm, while never succeeding in hiding the Son, was wearing down my resistance. I pray unceasingly, read scriptures, and, yet, the storm does not dissipate.
Today as I was reading from a book, In This Mountain, by Jan Karon (my favorite author), I came across an excerpt by Oswald Chambers:
At times God puts us through the discipline of darkness to teach us to heed Him. Song birds are taught to sing in the dark, and we are put into the shadow of God’s hand until we learn to hear Him. . . . Watch where God puts you into the darkness, and when you are there keep your mouth shut. Are you in the dark just now in your circumstances, or in your life with God? Then remain quiet. . . . When you are in the dark, listen, and God will give you a very precious message for someone else when you get into the light.
I think it’s pretty clear what God is saying to me. “My child, you are consumed with pouring your heart out to me with your continual pleadings, but you don’t let Me get in a word in edgewise. Why don’t you come to Me, and remain quiet? I know what all is going on with you, you’ve certainly shared that with me in excess. Now, all that is left is for you to remain quiet and just listen.”
I’ve never been good at listening quietly following my prayers, so it’s going to take some practice on my part. Therefore, I will resist the temptation to reiterate my problem (I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have anything new to add) and practice being quiet.
This is pretty bold of me to post this. I can hear the fiery darts now: What if God remains silent? What if you don’t succeed in being quiet? What if you miss what God is saying? What if you don’t understand what He is saying. What if you fail?
While I expect to be pelted with fiery darts (Satan doesn’t give up ground easily), I will lift up my shield of faith as I stand on the following verses:
Ephesians 3:20, Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us. (It depends on Him, not me)
Psalm 17:6, I call on You my God, for you will answer me; turn Your ear to me and hear my prayer. (God will answer me)