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Roller Coaster Riding

Well, today I am going to be a bit transparent. As I live my life (turning 77 soon!) I’m discovering that life doesn’t, necessarily, improve with age. You might think that the gray hair, wrinkles, and/or physical decline would present the greatest challenges. But for me, that is not the case. I’m learning to accept that as the realities of growing old. Not much fun but it’s reality. I’m learning, with God’s grace, to accept the inevitable. Besides, it’s what’s on the inside that really matters.

However, my greatest struggle occurs when I ponder the future. My husband and I have four children and children in laws, plus ten grandchildren. Yet, they all live in other cities, states, and even continents. Thus, most of our days are spent facing the challenges of maintaining our house and property on our own. In addition, all of which is complicated by our dwindling physical capabilities. While I love my country home and the serenity of its setting, the future is colored with darkened shades.

On the other hand, there are days when my faith surges strong. When I look into the future during such times, hope shines bright, and the darkness is dispelled. But then the fiery darts strike and doubt and fear do their dirty work. It’s like a roller coaster of emotions. My self-centered sinful nature fighting with my God-centered Christlike nature.

Here’s what I have recently determined. I am always going to ride this roller coaster. But on those days when my faith surges, it’s typically because a promise from Scripture sharpened my focus. I had spent time with God in prayer and His word. While He held my attention He reminded me of something I had let slip my mind. For example:

In reading Matthew 6:26, God reminds me He is faithful to sustain the birds of the air. So if He does that for the birds, He will more than do that for me. How can I believe this? Because I am much more valuable to God than the birds.

Additionally, there’s this word in Philippines 4:19, where God reminds me that He will provide all my needs according to His riches. And I can trust Him to keep His promises.

It’s only when I loose my focus of the above truth thoughts, can the fiery darts get past the threshold of my mind. As I am reminded from my book, “Above all, we must be especially alert against the beginnings of temptation, for the enemy is more easily conquered if he is refused admittance to the mind and is met beyond the threshold when he knocks.” FD’s 3rd edition, page 34

In conclusion, I have determined I must do two things: 1) be consistent in spending time with God daily in prayer and His word 2)Take to heart when God’s Spirit points out a truth to me. And by the way, live in the present. Allow God to take care of my future. Don’t allow worry to cloud up my days.

Building an arsenal…

An arsenal is a place where arms and ammunition (weapons) are stored.

You might be wondering where I am going with this but as Christians the sooner we make the connection that we are at war the better. I fear that far too many of us have become so distracted by the enemy that we aren’t even aware of the battle that is waging all around us. We are hanging out on the periphery of the battlefield with blinders on. Our attention is drawn only to our immediate surroundings. We have little awareness of the area of combat just beyond our vision.

First and foremost, we must understand the weapons of our arsenal are of a spiritual nature. Allow me to illustrate. Last year, my best friend of over three decades, passed away after a bout with cancer. In spite of the fact that I KNEW she was in the presence of God, I was devastated. We were kindred spirits. Our friendship was of an iron sharpening iron type. Without her presence and counsel, I sort of lost my direction. A dark cloud settled over me and followed me wherever I wandered. Which as it turned out, was often no further than my front porch.

Now, imagine with me the fiery darts of the enemy during these dark days. The voice in my head persisted in focusing on my loss. My only relief came when I was able to communicate and/or spend time with my children or grandchildren. Since they live quite a distance from me, our communication was minimal. And while my husband was sympathetic, it was beyond him to truly understand my heartache. No one was able to counsel me with the depth of understanding that could enable me to move on, to pick up my life again, and to find my new normal. Except for God!

As I cried out to God, here are some of the weapons He taught me to use:

Take one day at a time, don’t borrow from the past or tomorrow.

I will not leave you. I will be with you 24/7, helping you handle your pain

Turn to Me in this trial. My plan is not to allow this to defeat you but only to make you stron,ger.

Keep your thoughts turned towards me. Nothing in this world can compare to what I have for you.

I know what you truly need and it is My plan to abundantly supply those needs.

The above is just a sampling of the weapons with which God supplied me to ward off the enemy’s assault. They were the weapons of my arsenal. These were the truths on which God desired for me to focus. I knew about them due to a consistent search of God’s word. So when the fiery darts were hurled towards me, it was these truths and many more from the Scriptures that extinguished them. My weapons were of a spiritual nature. The world’s advice offered no lasting solutions.

We use God’s mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, to knock down the strongholds of human reasoning and to destroy false arguments.  (2 Corinthians 10:4 NLT)

Never forget the world’s weaponry creates strongholds by manipulating our ability to reason. By not being familiar with God’s mighty weapons we won’t recognize destructive falsehoods. Lies morph into truth and Truth morphs into lies. It is only by being cognizant of God’s Truth will we be able to counter the enemy’s assaults.

What are the consequences of failing to recognize the weapons of our arsenal? Read the following:

Brothers and sisters, I could not address you as people who live by the Spirit but as people who are still worldly—mere infants in Christ. I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for it. Indeed, you are still not ready. You are still worldly. For since there is jealousy and quarreling among you, are you not worldly? Are you not acting like mere humans? 1 Corinthians 3:1-3

If we never grow past the stage of infant food, we simply won’t have the strength or wisdom to understand or follow the path God has set for us. That means we won’t know the joy that passes all understanding even in the midst of trials. We will be fooled into thinking thoughts that deny the power of God’s word. All because we failed to build up the arsenal God provided us, when we became His own.

She’s gone on ahead…

My best friend has gone on before me.

And I’m left behind

What do I do now when

I need her to pray for me

Or I just need to talk!

She helped keep my emotional balance

When life shifted & became upended

It worked both ways for us

For I lifted her up in my turn

Iron sharpening iron

We had that in each other

And in her final moments, I was prevented from sharing them with her

An event she look most forward to never happened

So we both were denied at the end

We shared similar dreams

We constantly found ourselves experiencing similar problems

As we helped guide each other through them

Our 20 plus years of friendship has been abruptly halted

Focusing on what I’ve lost is the tempter’s plan

I’ll not give in to that darkness

The things I don’t understand will just have to be filed away

To wait for a future revelation

In the meantime, I will grasp hold of God’s promises

He will never leave me or forsake me

He will work all things together for my good

He will be my strength at my weakest of times

He will give me reasons to continue moving forward

One day or moment at a time

What to do?

Version 2

What do we do when in spite of all that we know and believe, the darkness continues to stalk us? We wait and wait but the hoped for relief remains a no show.

Instead of giving in and sinking lower and lower, try putting one foot in front of the other. Whatever we do we do not give into the hopelessness.

Instead we hold up our shield of faith and extinguish all the fiery darts of the enemy. (based on Ephesians 6:16.) One fiery dart at a time.

We replace every fiery dart thought with a Truth thought from God.

We keep moving forward, depending on God’s strength.

 

And if in spite of all of this, the darkness remains?

Remember, God’s way is the only way. There is no other way that will bring the help we need. Focus on trusting God to come through for us.

This will require faith. Maybe more than we have at the moment. Trust God to supply what we lack.

Ask for help to shut out the negative debilitating thoughts; to replace them with God’s thoughts. .

Maybe it’s been lingering far longer than we could imagine.

That doesn’t make God’s Word any less true.

Yet the stalking negativity sometimes keeps hanging around.

Then just keep putting one foot of faith in front of the other. Looking neither to the right or the left. 

Keep in mind, everyday won’t be like this. There will be better days here and there. We won’t drown in just one day. 

Hebrews 10:36, You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.

Even when the answers don’t come

     Somedays, I feel my dreams are slipping away.  Somedays, I feel I am a solitary soldier. Somedays, I feel abandoned. Somedays, I feel overwhelmed. And no matter how much I pray and attack these fiery dart thoughts, relief and/or victory just doesn’t happen.

So what does one do at times like these?

     Well, I’m going to keep fighting and resisting those fiery dart thoughts. I’m going to replace every fiery dart thought with verses of hope. Verses that remind me of who God is and how much He loves me. I’m going to remind myself of the abundance of God’s blessings and answers to prayers from my past.

     Satan’s fiery darts are unrelenting at times like these. Therefore, I must be persistent in my resistance. Like Winston Churchill reminds us

th-22

     So, even though the relief, victory, the answers haven’t arrived, I won’t forget that each and everyone of my problems is something God cares about. And that

It won’t always be like this! 

 

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times,

bobby & family 2016

   For the past year my son, daughter in law, and two small grandsons have been on stateside assignment. For 9 of those months they lived in Scotland while my son worked on his masters. Not living in a 3rd world country, we have enjoyed the luxury of easy access to them via internet.

   At present they are living with us as they prepare to return to Africa. And once again I’m faced with the painful thought that they will be leaving soon. But something unexpected happened while they were home that complicated the  emotional strain of sending them off.

Rach & family

   My husband and I have four children and two of them live near us. We take a great deal of comfort in knowing two of our daughters are close by. That was until recently! In April we were hit with the news that one of those daughters would likely be moving an 11 hours’ drive away to San Antonio, Texas. (And they did just that on August 18th)

   Therefore, this summer has been one of extreme high’s and extreme lows. There was a constant flow of children and grandchildren in our house all summer. Three of those weeks were especially momentous: Nammy Camp for the 6 granddaughters, a family vacation in East Tennessee for all 20 of us, and Nammy Camp for the 4 grandsons. The month of August our son and his family has been spent here with my husband and I.  My life was filled to overflowing with memory after wonderful memory of times spent together.

   The quote from A Tale of Two Cities (post title), describes my emotional state over this past summer quite succinctly. And predictably with every low moment I was hit with a barrage of fiery darts.

   It would have been my undoing had it not been for God’s instruction which had prepared me to not only identify fiery dart thinking but how to extinguish such thoughts as well.  While the pain persists, I’m learning by His tender mercies, how to manage it. My life moves forward as God tenderly and lovingly leads me. 

One of the most helpful Truth Thoughts I have found is Psalm 34:17:

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How does God deliver me from my present troubles and rescue my crushed spirit?

If I cooperate with God, He will give me the desire that pleases Him (Philip. 2:13) He will remind me that He will fill the void when my children move away. (Philip. 4:19).

His presence will restore my crushed spirit. Every time I began to focus on my loss, He reminds me to direct my focus towards His presence and the love He has for me. (Psalm 16:11)

He reminds me that He will work all this out for my good (Rom 8:28). 

Okay, so I have a choice!

I can pick up my shield of faith and face down the enemy with these Truth Thoughts! 

Or I can continue to focus on my losses and grow more miserable with every day!

My choice is obvious!

 

God does care! Keep on praying!

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   Obviously, there are those in our country who simply don’t understand the purpose of prayer. From their public words they espouse the negative thought (fiery dart) which promotes the idea that God doesn’t care about what we are going through and isn’t about to fix the problems associated with the recent terrorists attacks. 

   They don’t realize that God, indeed, is going to fix this problem with evil once and for all when Jesus Christ returns (Matthew 24:44). But God has a timetable, and He has a plan, and we must trust Him to work things out in His way and in His time. In the meantime, we must trust Him and,

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippines 4:6-7

Why?

   Because apart from God, deep and lasting peace is unattainable. Because it’s at times such as these when we are falling apart that we need a strength outside ourselves to see us through. Praying opens us up to receive this strength which comes from God. For He knows suffering is going to affect us all and His plan is to provide a way to handle our suffering and come out on the other end of it stronger than when we entered it. Therefore, suffering, which is inevitable, can refine us if we choose to pray for God’s strength, or it can ruin our lives, sending us into despair and defeat. 

We therefore must make a choice, and I recommend the following plan of action:

1.Recognize these negative thoughts for the fiery darts they are

2. Reject this thinking; don’t let it take root

3. Replace the fiery dart thought with a Truth thought. (The Bible is full of them)  

For example:  

“God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7, (gives us the strength to resist the temptation to fear).

“For God loved the world in this way: He gave His One and Only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16 (shows us just how much God cares for us)

“…The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” James 5:16 (confirms the power of prayer)