There’s the person who exhibits anger (last post).
Then there’s the person who gets wounded by such anger (this post).
Okay, someone close to you has a temper and far too often you bear the brunt of it. How do you deal with it? Do you coward down and allow yourself to become victimized and manipulated by their anger? If this is the case, then let’s be clear about where this path will lead.
I would encourage you to remember that you choose victory or defeat. And know that by refusing to choose, you actually choose to fall and suffer defeat. p 65, 3rd edition FD
The Bad News!
Living in fear (heavy duty fiery dart) that something you might say or do will incite an angry response from a loved one is like living in a dark dungeon. The darkness hides any route of escape. The longer you remain in that darkness, the more your thoughts will be controlled by that darkness. You will become vulnerable to the lies of one fiery dart thought after another (each one progressively worse). You will become so distracted by this fiery dart thinking that it will begin to rule you. Satan’s plan to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10a) is set in motion.
That’s the bad news! The good news is that we possess the means to undo Satan’s plan to sow the seeds of destruction . . . By becoming a student of God’s Word and communicating with God on a regular basis, we are in possession of everything we need to foil Satan’s plan. It’s that simple! p. 70, 3rd edition FD
The Good News!
The very very first thing you must do is to collect a store of Truth Thoughts (refer to the 3 R’s of FD’s page of this blog) with which to extinguish each and every fiery dart thought that’s aimed at you. I offer the following practical advice on how to do this:
I have also found a simple electronic concordance to be especially helpful when searching for verses to combat fiery darts. Or try doing an Internet search for a verse that relates to a struggle you may be having with a fiery dart/negative thought. p 62, 3rd edition FD
Remember, your loved one isn’t the enemy!
They are being controlled and manipulated just as you were by Satan’s fiery darts. By focusing on the Truth Thoughts God will lead you to, you will learn how to center your thoughts on God. This will have the blessed benefit of shining light into that dark dungeon you were in. And your route of escape to the abundant life God has planned for you (John 10:10b) will be revealed.
This will transform your thinking and how you respond to the anger of your loved one. You will begin to see beyond their anger and will be in a position to lead them to their own freedom and healing.
There is such thing as righteous anger but this post considers the opposite–unrighteous anger. The natural end of such fiery dart thinking is sin.
These thoughts are designed for your destruction. Knowing that sin will certainly proceed from thoughts of this nature, Satan’s plan to destroy us is set in motion. Therefore, if the thought’s natural end is sin, it is obvious that Satan’s fiery darts have been influencing your thinking. p 54 3rd edition FD
Anger is a common emotion. We all experience it.
Therefore, due to its common occurrence, it behoves us as Christians, especially, to learn how to manage such a destructive force. So let’s examine some Truth Thoughts from Scripture that not only expose but advise us on how to manage the fiery dart of anger.
What anger does!
Does not produce the righteousness of God (James 1:20 NIV)
Stirs up strife & causes much transgression (Proverbs 29:22 ESV; Proverbs 15:18 ESV)
Stirred up by harsh words (Proverbs 15:1)
Biblical advice in managing anger!
Sometimes it’s good to overlook an offense (Proverbs 19:11 ESV)
Being slow to anger quiets contention (Proverbs 15:18 ESV)
A soft answer turns away wrath (Proverbs 15:1 ESV)
If we are tempted to be angry, it would be advisable to heed the following before we lash out and inflict wounds:
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. Ephesians 4:29 ESV