There’s the person who exhibits anger (last post).
Then there’s the person who gets wounded by such anger (this post).
Okay, someone close to you has a temper and far too often you bear the brunt of it. How do you deal with it? Do you coward down and allow yourself to become victimized and manipulated by their anger? If this is the case, then let’s be clear about where this path will lead.
I would encourage you to remember that you choose victory or defeat. And know that by refusing to choose, you actually choose to fall and suffer defeat. p 65, 3rd edition FD
The Bad News!
Living in fear (heavy duty fiery dart) that something you might say or do will incite an angry response from a loved one is like living in a dark dungeon. The darkness hides any route of escape. The longer you remain in that darkness, the more your thoughts will be controlled by that darkness. You will become vulnerable to the lies of one fiery dart thought after another (each one progressively worse). You will become so distracted by this fiery dart thinking that it will begin to rule you. Satan’s plan to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10a) is set in motion.
That’s the bad news! The good news is that we possess the means to undo Satan’s plan to sow the seeds of destruction . . . By becoming a student of God’s Word and communicating with God on a regular basis, we are in possession of everything we need to foil Satan’s plan. It’s that simple! p. 70, 3rd edition FD
The Good News!
The very very first thing you must do is to collect a store of Truth Thoughts (refer to the 3 R’s of FD’s page of this blog) with which to extinguish each and every fiery dart thought that’s aimed at you. I offer the following practical advice on how to do this:
I have also found a simple electronic concordance to be especially helpful when searching for verses to combat fiery darts. Or try doing an Internet search for a verse that relates to a struggle you may be having with a fiery dart/negative thought. p 62, 3rd edition FD
Remember, your loved one isn’t the enemy!
They are being controlled and manipulated just as you were by Satan’s fiery darts. By focusing on the Truth Thoughts God will lead you to, you will learn how to center your thoughts on God. This will have the blessed benefit of shining light into that dark dungeon you were in. And your route of escape to the abundant life God has planned for you (John 10:10b) will be revealed.
This will transform your thinking and how you respond to the anger of your loved one. You will begin to see beyond their anger and will be in a position to lead them to their own freedom and healing.
As wonderful as the message of CHRISTmas is, the sad fact is that multitudes of people miss it; don’t even get it, don’t realize they need it, or have never heard of it! The holidays only serve to accentuate the fact that they are alone, depressed, forgotten, ignored, or even angry!
All of the above, and even more, are examples of the types of fiery darts aimed at our minds to keep us in the dark about the hope offered during this time of the year. The enemy’s intent is to keep us so deep in darkness, so self-absorbed with our misery, that we won’t be able to notice the lifelines available to us or awaken us to our need for the hope offered–all the work and effect of fiery dart thinking!
Why is it that we reject the babe born in the manger and all that His birth offers and embrace, instead, any and every insipid substitute that makes claim to posses a Christmas spirit? The enemy’s efforts to darken our understanding and separate us from the life God has planned for us, as is pointed out in Ecclesiastes 3:11, exposes why.
Now can you understand why the birth of the Christ child is such Good News? Because of Christ’s birth, death, and resurrection we have access to the power that will prevent our understanding from being darkened and will prevent us from being separated from the life God has planned for us. WE DON’T HAVE to feel alone, forsaken, embittered, depressed, or unloved during the holidays.
Time and time again within the pages of the Holy Bible we find verses that promise us that God will never leave us or forsake us that we are loved no matter what that we have worth that we are forgiven and that we can forgive that we matter that He cares for us. That dear readers is the Good News our enemy relentlessly works to conceal-especially at Christmas!
Therefore, this Hope is ours to choose:
But we MUST begin by refusing to believe that we have no hope, that we are unloved or forsaken or worthless. We must refuse to believe that there’s no way out of our darkness, or depression; that we have no control over the state we find ourselves. We must reject such thinking and as soon as we can get our hands on a Bible we must search for the Truth thoughts with which to supplant these negative thoughts (fiery darts) the minute they enter our minds. In the meantime, camp down on this:
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16 (NIV)
Some days are worse than others when it comes to fiery darts. It’s amazing to me how powerful some fiery darts are. I think those that come through people who are closest to us has the greatest potential for destructiveness. The person through whom the fiery dart comes is often totally clueless that they have become the vehicle of such a force. Nevertheless, their encounter with you leaves you wounded and likely they are oblivious to the onslaught of fiery darts with which you now must deal.
Okay, you’ve been attacked, wounded, and are now struggling with the fiery darts of the minions of destructiveness. How do you respond? It’s important, I think, to not react but to respond. Reacting predisposes that you are acting without thinking. Reacting to fiery darts, which is our natural bent, is not the best way to deal with fiery darts. Nope! We must respond, which implies thoughtful actions. And for those of us who are Christian, prayer is a vital component of those thoughtful actions.
Fiery darts bring darkness and it seems to me that the more fiery darts you encounter the darker it gets. I suppose that’s why it’s important to follow the advice of Thomas a’ Kempis, author of The Imitation of Christ whom I quoted in my book, if you don’t want to be overcome by the accumulated darkness of fiery darts.
Above all, we must be especially alert against the beginnings of temptation, for the enemy is more easily conquered if he is refused admittance to the mind and is met beyond the threshold when he knocks.
You need light, the light of Truth, and lots of it at these moments. Pull out your Bible (or whatever means you have to the Scriptures) and focus on gleaning as much light as is possible on your present situation. Remember, to fight the darkness of the fiery darts you need to absorb as much light as you can. So immerse yourself in the Light of God’s Word from the git go. (You are just trying to dispel the darkness at this point.) Eventually, you will begin to receive direction concerning the specifics of your situation. Then it will be the light of God’s Truth that will define your attitudes and actions as you deal with the attack of fiery darts that you have encountered.
I would like to share with you the following about a man named Steve Saint who has become a beacon of light for God as is evidenced by the manner in which he has responded to a recent tragic accident in his life. At one point early on in this video, Steve shares how he dealt with a menacing fiery dart thought of how much easier it would have been if the accident had cost him his life. Listen carefully for the light of Truth he has come to know that exposes the darkness of such thinking.
To find out who Steve Saint is go to: