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Alone but not alone…

Sep8
Ecclesiastes 3:4 – “There is a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.”

We stood by your grave today in the context of a calm and comforting autumn day

It was the first time since your passing that the two of us stood there, together

We stood there gazing in unbelief (still) that your name was on that grave marker

We talked about the loneliness that hung over us since we have been separated

And intensified since you moved to heaven

We were forced to move forward, without you, and without the comfort of each other’s presence

We were each on our own, and loneliness has been our constant (but hidden) companion

But in time we were reunited for a short while

Enough time to recall the past memories we all 3 had shared

Memories that were fresh and made fresher in their recollection

I heard myself laughing like I always did when the 3 of us were together

But hadn’t since you passed away and our paths took different directions

Now our brief reunion has ended

But we have tasted the sweetness of our laughter once again and felt its healing comfort

Now we will move forward returning to our individual paths

While the echoes of our laughter lingers in our thoughts

and though on our singular paths, alone but not alone!


Blessed are you who weep now,
    for you will laugh. Luke 6:21 b

Embracing Contentment: Life Lessons in Winter – Part 2

Jun6

Initially as we approach our declining years, we find ourselves at a crossroads. It all sounds a bit overwhelming, doesn’t it, and if we aren’t careful, it will be. Personally, in comparison, the season of winter has been the most trying and challenging.

Until this season there was always the activities of caring and enjoying my family and friends, serving in my church, and teaching school. Without these fulfilling and purposeful activities, I struggled to find my purpose. I was tempted to see the road ahead as dull and unfulfilling! Yet I knew that sort of vision, if it persisted, would lead to major fiery dart attacks. I also knew that God had better plans for me.

However, the word that surfaces most often in my head these days is ‘contentment.’  I’m discovering contentment, while desirable, isn’t all that easy to come by. Nonetheless, that’s what I desire in this season. Therefore, I have persisted in my pursuit to be content. I’m finding, however, it isn’t automatic! It’s not something I can have just because it’s a better option. You know how I discovered that? Well, I direct you to:

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 

Did you catch that word ‘learned?’ Well, I didn’t ‘catch’ it until I found myself in short supply of contentment. It just wasn’t happening for me to make up my mind to be content. Ugh! This was challenging. As I returned to that verse again and again, the light finally clicked on. Contentment is a learning process. I had to learn to be content. Day by day, step by step!

I’m learning in this season that every moment is holy because God is present, no matter the circumstances,  He is present with me in all my situations, even if the situations are difficult to bear. God reminds me there is no need for me to fear for He is with me; I do not have to be dismayed, for He is God, He will strengthen me and help me. His presence assures me of this, as well as His word.

While bouts of loneliness, uncertainty, and/or sadness threaten my contentment at times, I’m learning that focusing on truths like Isaiah 41:10, is a game changer. Fiery darts such as these can be conquered when contentment rules. And that is a wondrous thing to learn in the winter season of my life. Yours too, I pray!

Does it count for eternity?

Jan2

A new year has begun. We all have an opportunity for a fresh beginning. But will we take advantage of it, or do we even know how. Will we be able to detach ourselves from the trials, disappointments, and losses experienced from 2023? While last year did have its mountaintop moments, why is it that the valley moments seem to possess a greater force to pull us downward?

How do we overcome this downward force? The world offers their solutions and I might add that the source of those solutions have very little, if any, to do with God. True and lasting peace, even in the midst of life in our valleys, can only be found in God.

I met a man on a mission trip several years ago who would be considered poor by my country’s standards. Yet, the riches this man possessed was reflected in the words of his young adult daughter when she was asked about her life’s ambition. Her heart’s desire was to serve God as she had seen her father do. Her father passed on a legacy to his daughter far more valuable than any worldly possessions or riches.

This man and his family had discovered the secret of living a life that counted. Not to obtain material possessions, success, wealth, or fame. Their focus was on living a life that counted for God, a life that counted for eternity.

Living a life that counts for eternity is reflected in the choices we make on a daily basis. It is especially apparent when there are valleys to be endured and when the mountaintop experiences may be in short supply. The secret to making right choices is in asking ourselves this question: Will the choice I want to make count for eternity?

 

The healing fruit within dreams…

Sep26

I was sitting on a bench in the Meadows (nearby public park) the other day and contemplating the extraordinary chain of events that have led me here. My way here originated years ago within a dream. For reasons, I’m still not completely sure of, Scotland was the place I dreamed of going. 

Flash forward to a cool summer porch sitting morning. I was giving an ear to my son’s plans to work on a master’s degree. At the mention of the University of Edinburgh as being a possible choice, my dream thoughts of traveling to Scotland sprang to attention. Well, as they say, the rest is history. 

So how does one explain the steps that lead to a dream coming true? Or all that a dream is designed for. Not sure I could do that. But what I do know is having the dream is the only contribution I made to its unfolding. The rest of the details were orchestrated by God. 

Psalm 37:23 speaks of a man’s ways being established by the LORD…

Additionally, Ecclesiastes 8:6, “For there is a proper time and procedure for every delight, though a man’s trouble is heavy upon him.”

These verses remind me that God’s timing is something we can count on and rest in. My fourth visit (yes I did say 4th) to Edinburgh occurred after a time of unexpected trouble and heartache. Last November and March my elderly mother and mother in law transitioned to their new homes in heaven. And while we were somewhat prepared, letting go of the woman who loved you like no other, is something that takes time to process. While I was in the throes of learning how to live without the security of my mother’s presence, I was delivered a crushing blow in the unexpected death of my best friend of 20 plus years. Her death, in May of this year, left me feeling unanchored. Now, I had no earthly person to spill my guts to and still feel loved and understood. While I did know comfort, as I recalled all the conversations we had about how wonderful heaven would be, neither of us suspected it would happen to one of us so soon. It was like my breath had been knocked out of me! 

I wandered from one emotion to another, feeling all the pain but having only limited relief. I couldn’t help but feel God’s timing was way off after my third loss within less than a year. I was tempted to fuss at God for removing the one person that He had faithfully used for years to get me back on my feet during the crisis of caretaking for elderly parents and their eventual deaths.

Then in late August, God set up the proper time, in the midst of my misery, to put time and space between me and my sorrows. Placing me in a historical city where at every turn I am reminded of the permanence and faithfulness of God’s provision. 

Therefore, even now, I know that I can rest and remain confident in His timing and that my ways have and will continue to be established by Him. Because it is the proper time for seeds hidden within the depths of a dream of years gone by, to bear their healing fruit. 

She’s gone on ahead…

May16

My best friend has gone on before me.

And I’m left behind

What do I do now when

I need her to pray for me

Or I just need to talk!

She helped keep my emotional balance

When life shifted & became upended

It worked both ways for us

For I lifted her up in my turn

Iron sharpening iron

We had that in each other

And in her final moments, I was prevented from sharing them with her

An event she look most forward to never happened

So we both were denied at the end

We shared similar dreams

We constantly found ourselves experiencing similar problems

As we helped guide each other through them

Our 20 plus years of friendship has been abruptly halted

Focusing on what I’ve lost is the tempter’s plan

I’ll not give in to that darkness

The things I don’t understand will just have to be filed away

To wait for a future revelation

In the meantime, I will grasp hold of God’s promises

He will never leave me or forsake me

He will work all things together for my good

He will be my strength at my weakest of times

He will give me reasons to continue moving forward

One day or moment at a time

And now, the departures…

Jul17

A goodbye is just the beginning of a hello! Or so my 7 year old grandson says!

Now that Nammy Camp has faded into the sunset, what now?

The departures of each family group are accompanied by the waves, shouts of goodbyes and I love you’s by the remaining groups traditionally positioned on the front porch.

In past times, these farewell moments have been painted in gray. For letting go has been an all too familiar scene played out in my life. In spite of these colorless moments , there have been some revelations along the way which have served to paint these moments in a more colorful palette.

So how does this happen?

Referencing my last post, it’s an exercise in acceptance. Accepting that God is in control, and that His plans are always designed for our good.

Something else needs to be acknowledged here. My flesh, that part of me that always wants its own way, revolts when things don’t go the way I prefer. For I would prefer that all 4 of my children live nearby. Not in two other states, and another country!

Accepting God’s placement for my children and their families, can only be accomplished by preferring God’s will for their lives over my own will. This is no easy task, but through the years it has become doable. It takes time to grow in the knowledge of God’s truths. It takes a bolstering of trust to know that His ways are always better than mine. And as I exercise that trust, it grows stronger and more reliable.

Focusing on what I have and not what I don’t have, is another helpful exercise. This is where the fiery dart lessons come in real handy. It’s mighty tempting as I stand waving from my front porch to dwell on the sadness I feel as the final group departs. But it has been my realization that by overly focusing on the negative, I won’t notice the birds serenading me, feel the cool breezes brushing against my skin, or value the beauty of the quiet. For you see, I won’t be able to appreciate this different sort of quiet. A quiet that offers serenity, peacefulness, and consolation all at once.

I don’t want to miss out on the blessed gifts that accompany this season of my life because I am focusing on the negative. The reality is that time changes things. If I cooperate with God as He works His plan, I will discover the beauty, comfort, and purpose that He has prepared for me within those life changes.

I admit this is a God-size task. One that only can be managed successfully when I defer to God’s way of dealing with the departures that always follows Nammy Camp.

What to do?

Aug9

Version 2

What do we do when in spite of all that we know and believe, the darkness continues to stalk us? We wait and wait but the hoped for relief remains a no show.

Instead of giving in and sinking lower and lower, try putting one foot in front of the other. Whatever we do we do not give into the hopelessness.

Instead we hold up our shield of faith and extinguish all the fiery darts of the enemy. (based on Ephesians 6:16.) One fiery dart at a time.

We replace every fiery dart thought with a Truth thought from God.

We keep moving forward, depending on God’s strength.

 

And if in spite of all of this, the darkness remains?

Remember, God’s way is the only way. There is no other way that will bring the help we need. Focus on trusting God to come through for us.

This will require faith. Maybe more than we have at the moment. Trust God to supply what we lack.

Ask for help to shut out the negative debilitating thoughts; to replace them with God’s thoughts. .

Maybe it’s been lingering far longer than we could imagine.

That doesn’t make God’s Word any less true.

Yet the stalking negativity sometimes keeps hanging around.

Then just keep putting one foot of faith in front of the other. Looking neither to the right or the left. 

Keep in mind, everyday won’t be like this. There will be better days here and there. We won’t drown in just one day. 

Hebrews 10:36, You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.

Even when the answers don’t come

May3

     Somedays, I feel my dreams are slipping away.  Somedays, I feel I am a solitary soldier. Somedays, I feel abandoned. Somedays, I feel overwhelmed. And no matter how much I pray and attack these fiery dart thoughts, relief and/or victory just doesn’t happen.

So what does one do at times like these?

     Well, I’m going to keep fighting and resisting those fiery dart thoughts. I’m going to replace every fiery dart thought with verses of hope. Verses that remind me of who God is and how much He loves me. I’m going to remind myself of the abundance of God’s blessings and answers to prayers from my past.

     Satan’s fiery darts are unrelenting at times like these. Therefore, I must be persistent in my resistance. Like Winston Churchill reminds us

th-22

     So, even though the relief, victory, the answers haven’t arrived, I won’t forget that each and everyone of my problems is something God cares about. And that

It won’t always be like this! 

 

How to keep from being devoured! Or how to not give up when you have lost hope.

Feb22

th-19

    There are seasons in our lives when in spite of what we read in the Bible, we feel abandoned by God. (and if we aren’t reading our Bible then we, for sure, feel abandoned and even hopeless) We walk around in a cloud where hope is vague and happiness is something we grow more unfamiliar with by the day.

So what should we do? How do we survive such desolate days?

Keep a proper perspective

     We all have a singular enemy! He is called Satan! He has plans to steal, kill, and destroy. (John 10:10). He influences false assumptions, prideful thinking, and deceptive human reasoning. (2 Cor 10:3-5)

Then how is it that we are so easily devoured by Satan’s plans? 

     I’ve been told that the lion stalks those who are distracted and weak. Therefore, Satan is on a constant vigil to detect the weak among us. Those who rarely feed on God’s word, are most vulnerable to his manipulation and deception. Those who have become more familiar with the lies of the world than the principles declared in the Bible are easily led astray and distracted. 

     Without a healthy understanding of how much we are loved by God, of His good plans for us, of how His plan is for all things to work together for our good, we can easily be consumed by the burdens of life. Therefore, Satan’s foremost attack is to make us ignorant of such understanding. By doing so, he can easily convince us that God has forgotten and abandoned us. He feeds our thoughts with negativity and lies. Our hope soon gives way to hopelessness and despair. 

How do we counter Satan’s attack?

    Satan attacks us first in our thoughts. A weapon referred to as fiery darts. If we don’t know how to recognize those fiery darts, then we are doomed to falling prey to their poison. How we feel will be filtered by the fiery darts we have allowed to take root in our thinking. Consider the following excerpt from my book, Fiery Darts: Satan’s Weapon of Choice:

First we entertain a thought. That thought will cause certain related feelings. Thus, our behavior is influenced by our thoughts and feelings. Psychologists say that if behavior is to be changed, then the flow must be interrupted, either at the initial thought or at the feeling point. p. 28 3rd ed FD’s

     Satan must be defeated at the first thought level. When we accomplish this, then the darkness will diminish. We won’t succumb to the deception of the enemy. We may have to deal with unhappiness but our joy remains. And instead of becoming overwhelmed we will discover that

We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. 2 Corinthians 4:8-16 NLT

 

Who do we believe?

Nov11

autumn trees

Why do we so easily believe the lies of fiery darts? But struggle to believe Truths from God’s Word?

   If the darkness of the world, Satan, and our flesh influences our thinking more than God’s Word, then our thoughts, attitudes, and actions will reflect that darkness.  Thus our focus will be on the darkness, blinding us to the light of God’s truth that lies beyond it. 

  Yet, if we desire to believe God over the lies of the enemy, we must do the following:  

We must seek God.

When God speaks we need to listen.

When God speaks we need to believe.

When God speaks we need to act on His words.

Take to heart the following:

…when you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you. Is 43:2 ESV

The LORD is the One who goes before you. He will be with you; He will not leave you. Do not be afraid or discourages. Deut. 31:8

Don’t be afraid anymore, only believe. Mark 5:36 NASV

Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:16

   Yet sometimes the problems we face threaten to overwhelm us. We believe God,. We believe His Word. We go to it daily.  We talk to God about it a lot, but the hoped for solution evades us! What do we do in situations like that?

We wait!

   As we wait, we continue to pray and search the Scriptures. We focus on verses like the ones above. We become alert to the encouragement God sends us as we go about our day. Through those encouragements and God’s word, we grow in our faith and perspective of the problem.

   We learn to recognize the fiery darts and how to reject them. We learn to replace them with the Truth thoughts from Scripture that God directs us to.

   We may not feel so good about the way things are going, but we must remember that if God says He will never leave us, that He will not fail us, then in spite of how things look, we must take Him at His word. 

Our well being depends on who we believe!