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Death changes things…

May21

My best friend, who I was looking to several more years of camaraderie with, has passed away. Her death causes me to be reflective. Our friendship was of the rarest kind. It was not of this world, for it was based, grounded, and gifted by God. We had one of those iron sharpening iron unions. When God needed to make a point with us, He often would give it to the one to share with the other. I told her often, “I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Well, now I’m having to find that out. 

What am I finding out? I’m finding out death and change are companion forces. Death demands change. I’m finding out this harsh change can be used in one of two ways. It can produce a resolve to willingly reflect upon the changes I need to face up to in my own life or it can be used to create a numbness to the need for change in my life.

My best friend’s death has thrust me onto an undesirable path. A path without her companionship. Many of those she loved are finding themselves on a similar path. One without her countless physical acts of loving care. A path without the benefit of her voice reminding them of God’s love and calling on their lives. 

May we allow the memory of the words God spoken to us during her time with us to produce the changes that remain to be made in our lives. May we allow God’s pure voice to rise above all the cacophony of voices pulling us to focus only on ourselves. Voices that would cloud our memories of the truths she shared with us.

May we cooperate with God in examining those changes still needing to be made and from this point forward display actions and attitudes that truly honor Him and the prayers of the one who loved us so much. And by the way, bring us to our senses and escape the devil’s trap having been captured by him to do his will.

What does it mean to show Christlike love to others who have rejected God and/or His ways?

Sep21

Even as we lived a life of disobedience, even as we rebelled against God’s standards of living, even as we rejected the existence of God, even as we refused to take God and Christ’s death seriously, God allowed Christ to be sacrificed for us. He didn’t wait for His ways to make sense to us before He offered us a solution.

Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die.  But God proves His love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:7-8

Admittedly, it’s hard to have loving feelings toward those who boldly reject God and His ways. Our world is upside down these days. Right is wrong and wrong is right! And what is more alarming is this deception has seeped into some of our churches! We Christians struggle to figure out how to stand strong in our faith without alienating those who have rejected God’s ways.

This is a prime dilemma that Satan eagerly takes advantage of. Ever hear the silent voice that says, “If you are kind and accepting of this person who lives in a way that mocks God and His ways, then that’s the same as condoning their sin.” You see, Satan has us focus on this fiery dart in order to deter us from verses like Romans 5:7-8.

What we fail to understand is that we can be kind and forgiving towards those who have fallen prey to the enemy’s deception, without compromising our faith values. How can we be kind and forgiving? By understanding the complex truth of separating the person we have issues with from the sins they have embraced!

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’  But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,… Matthew 5:43-44

It’s a slippery path to find ways to separate the sinner from the sin, of course. And our upside down world has made it even harder. But acknowledging that God loved us while we were still living in our sin, should empower us to do the same for others living outside of God’s will. This will provide us with the motivation to care enough about that person to deliver God’s truth to them with kindness and compassion. (Perhaps, we have been guilty of delivering the truth without the compassion?)

While we may be rejected and even persecuted by those we have attempted, with loving kindness, to be honest with, we must be prepared for this. Courageous love demands that we be truthful, whether they reject us or not or whether they reject God’s truth or not.

Personally, I don’t think there’s ever been a time when God’s truth has been so distasteful to so many. And these days we must count the cost before delivering His truth, for we could be made to suffer for it. We must keep in mind this world is not permanent; eternity is. And where we spend eternity is determined by what we do about God’s truths while we live here on earth.

Love in its purest form!

May8

4Love is patient, love is kind.

Love does not envy,

is not boastful, is not conceited,

5 does not act improperly,

is not selfish, is not provoked,

and does not keep a record of wrongs.

6 Love finds no joy in unrighteousness

but rejoices in the truth.

7 It bears all things, believes all things,

hopes all things, endures all things.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Paul’s purpose in writing the above verses was to illustrate what true love looked like. It would do us all well to study this chapter and in particular verses 4-7, in order to possess a clear picture of true love. And if we desire to have a visual of something on earth that comes the closest in comparison, we need look no further than a Mother’s love.

Consider a Mother’s love as it compares to the above description. Does it express the heart of this biblical description? Anytime, pleasing self take priority above the object of our love, we are not loving with a pure love.

But thanks for the unchangeable word of God, we will always have sources to go to when our vision of true love becomes blurred. That clear source of a Mother whose love for their children reflects the love God has for them as defined in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 will always reflect love in its purest form here on earth.

Faith, Hope, and Love, (God’s plan to defeat fear, hopelessness, and hate)

Jan9

Fear, Hopelessness, and Hate

   All across our land and beyond, seeds of fear, hopelessness, and hate (just to address only 3) are being sown. You do realize why I would label these as fiery darts, right? Because if the enemy can keep our focus on such negative thinking then he can manipulate us into creating our own destruction. The enemy will stop at nothing to create a climate designed to give rise to the fruits of such fiery darts. His diabolical efforts to maintain this climate are evidenced by the rise of persecution here and abroad.  People everywhere are living lives and making choices that have been poisoned by fear, by hopelessness, by hate!

BUT GOD HAS A PLAN!

 The enemy is counting on his victims being uninformed about who God is and the plan God has set in place to empower us to defeat evil. A personal relationship with God through Jesus Christ allows us access to all  we need to counter the attack of fiery darts and defeat our enemy. The Bible tells us what to do in every situation:
The Truth expressed in Ephesians 6:16 (HCSB) “In every situation take the shield of faith and with it you will be able to extinguish the flaming arrows of the evil one,” took on new meaning. FD, p. 33
   Christians who are fervent in spending time with God in prayer and avail themselves to being taught by God as to how to identify fiery darts and how to replace them with Truth Thoughts, will overcome their enemy. And added to that, their witness will lead the way for others to follow in victory.
   In the face of fear, hopelessness, and hate, God offers us the direct opposite–Faith, Hope, and Love. The following are the Truth Thoughts of Faith, Hope, and Love.  Should we choose to use them, they will solidly defeat our enemy. 

FAITH

…to open their eyes and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, so that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in me.’Proverbs 24:20 

HOPE

 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

LOVE

John 3:16 “For God so loved the world,that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

 

Parent’s Alert: Fiery Darts of “The Stirring”

Dec15

 

  When our children begin to experience this stirring, if we parents haven’t availed ourselves to the connection between it and God, then we become prime targets for Satan’s fiery darts. Therefore, for lack of knowledge, we will usher our children along a path that we never would have desired. We will  assume, right along with society, that our children are reaching the ‘dating age’ (and alarmingly, in our culture this happens earlier and earlier) when the search for ‘true love’ naturally begins.

Just what Satan has planned!

But wait, here’s what he is attempting to keep us (especially Christian parents) from realizing:

The Stirring – According to God

Remember in Part One, I said that Satan has a plan for our lives and that is to kill, steal, and destroy whatever it is that God has planned for us. Let’s go back to that “stirring” I mentioned earlier. Could it be that the stirring in our heart that initiates a search for true love is the Holy Spirit calling us to a love relationship with our Creator? I think so! Why else would Satan enforce a plan to do everything he could to make sure that we misunderstand what this stirring encompasses? FD, p. 54-55

   As parents, if we buy into this misconception of ‘the stirring’ then our focus regarding our children and dating will be completely out of balance. We will think how else are they going to find that one that God wants for them. For in the process, they will grow in their understanding of love and how to recognize the real thing, right?

Sounds logical, doesn’t it!

   Indeed, we do need to help our children learn how to recognize genuine love. But the place to start is in committing their lives to God then sitting at Jesus’s feet as He teaches them about the love He displayed for them. They then go from there putting into practice what they have learned from Jesus about genuine love, but first within the context of their own families; romantic love following much later.

If in those early years we set our focus on cooperating with God as He teaches us the true meaning of love, then our future attitudes and actions will reflect an appropriate definition of love because our textbook was God’s Word; in particular, verses like 1 Corinthians 13:1-7. . . We could do nothing better to prepare us to live life and love others, especially a future spouse successfully, by studying and applying the truths about love from the Book written by the Author of love!  FD, p. 55

   There’s much more on this subject in my book. If you are interested then check out the sidebar about how to order, Fiery Darts: Satan’s Weapon of Choice. (By the way, it would make a great Christmas gift!)

Just read the Book!

Sep7

     Recently, I came across a Facebook post of a young woman that troubled my heart. Her words revealed that fiery darts had completely obliterated her understanding of genuine love. Her words spoke of a relationship that was deceptive, inflicted pain, played games, desired what was not theirs! A relationship much like her divorced parents. What troubles me? Both the young woman and her divorced parents are products of the Christian church.

     Sadly, too many Christians have succumbed to the fiery dart (the temptation) to spend less and less time in prayer and Bible study. Much of the pain and trouble we have come to know in our marriages can be traced back to this fiery dart.  The more time we spend away from God the more disconnected we become and the more cloudy becomes our understanding of how to live life! 

. . .Again I must emphasize the necessity to persevere in prayer and Bible study!. . .What we teach our children, how we define true love, how we view our marriage, how we deal with difficulties, etc., will all be influenced by what we learn from God’s Word and prayer. FD, p. 76

     Is it any wonder that when we push the map (God’s Word) aside, we loose sight of how to get to where we need to go? The Bible, for instance, gives us precise instruction as to the purpose of marriage in Ephesians 5:25-26. But if we don’t avail ourselves to this wisdom, then we have the bloody mess (sorry, but I’m feeling this pretty strongly)  we find ourselves in today! 

. . .They don’t see how fiery darts have so dulled their sensitivity toward the things of God, that they honestly think they have no alternative other than divorce. Because, you see, that marriage was all about them; they just couldn’t see that it was an instrument of God’s to conform them into the image of His Son and draw an unbelieving world to Himself! FD, p. 75

    Did you realize that most people are clueless about why God designed marriage. Though we are without excuse, many of us in the church are as well! Please consider reading my book and in particular chapters 7 & 8, for more insight into love and marriage and God’s design for both.  

How do you spell love?

Feb4

Because Valentine’s Day is coming up, I think it is the appropriate time to address a relevant issue covered in my book, Fiery Darts: Satan’s Weapon of Choice, concerning the definition of love.

      When a marriage lacks “love” as defined by society, that is romantic feelings, it becomes inconceivable to those subscribing to society’s definition to remain in the relationship.  When it is romance that fuels our relationship then our focus is on the performance or lack thereof of our spouse.  (p.72)

         In defining love, could it be that we have succumbed to another fiery dart?  When we define love according to 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, we find that, “Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or conceited or proud; love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs;love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. Love never gives up; and its faith, hope, and patience never fail.” (NIV)  This is the kind of love Jesus has for us.  It is a God-centered view of love.  This kind of love will preserve marriage because it brings glory to God and points a sinful world to the reconciling love of its Creator.9  Do we think that we could love like this if we never encountered the situations that had the potential to teach us how to love in this manner?  This love is not performance based; it does not require that our earthly comforts, desires, and expectations must be met; it is not self-seeking, which unfortunately defines, for too many us, the basis of our love for others.  This type of love can only be found by sitting at the feet of Jesus and allowing Him to teach us how to love as He loves. (pp.72-73)

         A clear understanding of the love we should have, as described in the Love Chapter (1 Corinthians 13), expands our definition of love.  As Christians we were taught to define love by Christ’s example.  I suspect the only way we can love like this is to become more like Christ as we handle the problems we face in our marriages. (p. 73)

         So why do I insert this section from my book?  Because I believe that Society is out of balance in defining love.  We have put way too much emphasis on the romantic aspect of love.  It might even be said of Society’s definition of love that if you’re not experiencing romance, then you’re not experiencing love!  And to that, I say, “Society! You are way off on your definition!”  If we go by Society’s definition then all those married couples who for one reason or another have stayed together in spite of the fact that the romance has gone out of their relationship are fools.   Well, maybe that’s a bit strong!  How about ‘crazy’?

I would like to encourage all those ‘crazy’ married couples out there who are hanging in there without the benefit of the glue of romantic feelings!  First of all, God bless you!  Thank you for showing by your example that ‘love’ is spelled ‘c-o-m-m-i-t-m-e-n-t’.  By your example, you are redefining ‘love’ and getting closer to its truer meaning. So keep on keeping on! God has some pretty awesome plans for you. Remember Jeremiah 29:11?

“‘For I know the plans I have for you’, declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future,’

To be sure, romance is desirable in a marriage.  For those of you who are blessed to still have that, how wonderful!  But do not despair if your marriage doesn’t.  Learn how to fight the fiery darts that have disheartened and discouraged your marriage.  Hold on to the hope that once you have acknowledged and learned how to wage war on the fiery darts attacking your marriage, then the healing of your marriage can begin.

Remember:  Romance is a by-product of love but it does not define love!  Yep, if you’ve got commitment, then you’ve got a lot of love in your marriage–you are just learning to spell it differently!