Tag Archive | hurtful words

Words for Parents!


   There are some youngsters near and dear to me that have recently embarked upon that vulnerable journey in life referred to as adolescents. And I am being reminded of the pitfalls that await our children during this section of their life’s journey as I learn of the struggles my loved ones are facing.

   Therefore, I pass along the following in the hopes that if you or your adolescent is having a difficult time maneuvering through the challenges of this time, you may find these ‘words’ to be the lifesaver for you that they were for me. 

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   As my children came along, I knew, from my own experience, that I had to find a way to protect them from the damage negative words could inflict, especially negative teasing. Thus I believe God prompted me to establish a rule in our household of “no negative teasing”. 


   Negative teasing at some level inflicts pain. Sure on the surface we may be laughing but down deep we aren’t! It certainly doesn’t build up someone to teasingly call them ‘stupid’ now does it?

   But the most revealing and powerful force to defeat the negative thinking that years of hurtful words had produced in my own life, regretfully didn’t come to me until I was in my 50’s. Fiery Darts: Satan’s Weapon of Choice is the compilation of lessons given to me in how to overcome and/or heal from the damage caused by hurtful words.


   It is from this perspective of healing that I offer these words to parents, for we must pass on to our adolescents an awareness of the Truth thought found in Ephesians 4:29 (opening photo)! We should model the Truth of this verse in the words our children hear coming from our mouths before we try to impress upon them how to filter their words through this Truth.


   We need to teach our children how to handle the hurtful words (whether teasing or otherwise) that is inflicted upon them. For without this guidance our children will be tempted to believe things about themselves that are nothing but lies.

   We must teach our children that God’s Word is the most powerful of all weapons to destroy the enemy’s fiery dart attacks. However, we must first learn how to use that weapon for ourselves then we will be equipped to pass along successfully what we have learned to our children.

   Within the Bible are counter attacks for every fiery dart Satan throws at us and our children. Therefore, it is imperative that we teach our children (after first learning for ourselves)  how to recognize Satan’s fiery darts, then how to call upon God’s Word to defend themselves. (Ephesians 6:16)



   Please remember that the flesh is weak. If we do not arm ourselves with the Sword of Truth, our flesh will not be able to resist the temptations that will arise from the fiery dart attacks. But by wielding the Sword of Truth against every hurtful word, the tempter’s plans to weaken us will be demolished. (2 Corinthians 10:4-5)


How does one honor Mother’s Day in a blog that focuses on negative thinking?


Well, I’ve been thinking about that and it can be done.  But it will require a journey back in time, a time in my early twenties. (I am 64 now so that’s 40 something years ago.  Can anyone really remember back that far?)

Like many 20 year olds I was straining at the bit to discover what I was to be doing with my life.  I had my own ideas about what I wanted to do and often those ideas were in direct conflict with my parent’s ideas.  But look, I was in my 20’s and I didn’t necessarily have to agree with my parent’s ideas, right?  I had the right to speak my mind for I was an adult, (that was my thinking).

It was during this ‘testing of my wings’ time that I began to experience conflict with my mother.  For she had ways that I was quite judgmental of, so now and then I would confront her about those.  (For they were quite irritating to me, you see)  As you might expect, those confrontations usually ended in tears and hurtful words.  Slowly, through my own misguided attempts to point out to my mom areas where I thought she needed to make some changes, a wall began to form.

Then at age 21 I had an encounter with God that dramatically transformed my thinking–especially about the conflict between my mother and me.

As I grew in my devotion to God, He helped me to understand and see my mother in a clearer light.  He pointed out to me that to honor Him I would need to honor my mother.  And one of the ways I could do that was to stop trying to conform her into an image of my own making.

I felt very strongly that God was pointing out to me back then to accept my mother just the way she was.  I was to resist any attempt to point out changes I felt she needed to make.  Slowly that wall that I had constructed between us began to crumble.

So what’s the connection between fiery darts and what took place in my life  over 40 years ago?

I now know that my thinking back then was characteristic of a fiery dart attack.  All those common sense thoughts that convinced me my mother needed to be corrected were fiery darts aimed at damaging the relationship between she and I.

But when I allowed God’s Word to influence my thinking then my actions and attitudes towards my mother became more accepting.  So much so that those things which use to irritate me simply didn’t bother me anymore.

Even though I wasn’t wise to the particulars of Satan’s scheme to attack me with fiery darts, God was.  And because I was so saturated with God’s Truths, I was able to benefit from the wisdom of those Truths as I applied them to the struggling relationship I had with my mother.

As I listened and learned from God how to honor and show respect for my mother, our relationship steadily improved.  Now that I’m 64 and my mother is 90, I find that my admiration for her continues to increase.  I’m convinced that the relationship we have enjoyed through the years since that time in my 20’s is the by-product of a mother who was faithful to love (and forgive) and a daughter who chose to cooperate with God as He taught her how to honor and respect her mother.

Years later, as I absorbed less and less of God’s Word, I unknowingly allowed Satan to set me on a path of destruction.  But the unfailing love of God intervened and well you can read all about my rescue in Fiery Darts: Satan’s Weapon of Choice.