Tag Archive | adolescence

The path to true love!

I would like to present a rather radical explanation, in our time anyway, to describe a common occurrence concerning relationships in our society. 

   During the time of adolescence, there is a stirring that becomes keenly apparent to girls early on, and typically to the guys a bit later. It has been assumed by our society that this stirring heralds the beginning of “the search” for a future spouse, and as a result, girls and guys begin counting the days when they will become old enough to date. And, as our society relaxes its standards, the age to begin this search becomes younger and younger. When you add to that the ease of communication between our young people, guy/girl relationships develop in their intensity long before the individuals have reached a level of maturity to be able to handle such intensity. p 71, 3rd edition FD’s

   Society’s definition (a powerful fiery dart) of what the stirring is all about sets individuals, particularly parents, on a hazardous path. Just take a look at the wrecks that have taken place on such a path. In examining these wrecks we find travelers who became disoriented. Their focus became blurred and many lost their way. Their emotional and spiritual health suffering extensive damage.

   Relationships that are formed based on society’s premise of the stirring, are often at risk for failure. Resulting in divorce rising to such proportions that society is tempted to do away with marriage all together. Living together is seen as a viable option to marriage. 

However, consider this

   Remember in Part One, I said that Satan has a plan for our lives and that is to kill, steal, and destroy whatever it is that God has planned for us. Let’s go back to that “stirring” I mentioned earlier. Could it be that the stirring in our heart, which initiates a search for true love, is the Holy Spirit calling us to a love relationship with our Creator? I think so! Why else would Satan enforce a plan to do everything he could to make sure that we misunderstand what this stirring encompasses? p 74, 3rd edition FD’s

    An attitude such as the one above, sounds positively radical to someone who has bought into society’s definition of the stirring. But let’s examine the nature of the path one would encounter if the above attitude was adopted.

   If we could be grounded in our understanding of true love, by spending time learning about true love from the very source of true love, God, then we would enter relationships as whole, healthy, and complete individuals. We would handle problems we  encounter in those relationships from a healthy perspective. Having been taught to recognize genuine love, we would avoid relationships that offered anything less. p 74, 3rd edition FD’s

Therefore, we are faced with a choice.

Which path as an individual should we choose?

Which path would we as parents want to prepare our children for?

Words for Parents!

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   There are some youngsters near and dear to me that have recently embarked upon that vulnerable journey in life referred to as adolescents. And I am being reminded of the pitfalls that await our children during this section of their life’s journey as I learn of the struggles my loved ones are facing.

   Therefore, I pass along the following in the hopes that if you or your adolescent is having a difficult time maneuvering through the challenges of this time, you may find these ‘words’ to be the lifesaver for you that they were for me. 

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   As my children came along, I knew, from my own experience, that I had to find a way to protect them from the damage negative words could inflict, especially negative teasing. Thus I believe God prompted me to establish a rule in our household of “no negative teasing”. 

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   Negative teasing at some level inflicts pain. Sure on the surface we may be laughing but down deep we aren’t! It certainly doesn’t build up someone to teasingly call them ‘stupid’ now does it?

   But the most revealing and powerful force to defeat the negative thinking that years of hurtful words had produced in my own life, regretfully didn’t come to me until I was in my 50’s. Fiery Darts: Satan’s Weapon of Choice is the compilation of lessons given to me in how to overcome and/or heal from the damage caused by hurtful words.

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   It is from this perspective of healing that I offer these words to parents, for we must pass on to our adolescents an awareness of the Truth thought found in Ephesians 4:29 (opening photo)! We should model the Truth of this verse in the words our children hear coming from our mouths before we try to impress upon them how to filter their words through this Truth.

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   We need to teach our children how to handle the hurtful words (whether teasing or otherwise) that is inflicted upon them. For without this guidance our children will be tempted to believe things about themselves that are nothing but lies.

   We must teach our children that God’s Word is the most powerful of all weapons to destroy the enemy’s fiery dart attacks. However, we must first learn how to use that weapon for ourselves then we will be equipped to pass along successfully what we have learned to our children.

   Within the Bible are counter attacks for every fiery dart Satan throws at us and our children. Therefore, it is imperative that we teach our children (after first learning for ourselves)  how to recognize Satan’s fiery darts, then how to call upon God’s Word to defend themselves. (Ephesians 6:16)

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A FINAL WORD

   Please remember that the flesh is weak. If we do not arm ourselves with the Sword of Truth, our flesh will not be able to resist the temptations that will arise from the fiery dart attacks. But by wielding the Sword of Truth against every hurtful word, the tempter’s plans to weaken us will be demolished. (2 Corinthians 10:4-5)

 

Parent’s Alert!

Parents, may I have your attention?

   In my book, Fiery Darts: Satan’s Weapon of Choice, Chapter Seven deals with a phenomenon I refer to as ‘The Stirring’ which occurs during the time of adolescence,

 During the time of adolescence there is a stirring that becomes keenly apparent to girls early on and typically to the guys a bit later. It has been assumed by our society that this stirring heralds the beginning of “the search” for a future spouse and as a result girls and guys begin counting the days when they will become old enough to date…  p. 51 FD
…During this period, “the senses of our young people are quickened to anything that speaks of romance.” p. 51 FD

   Considering the vulnerability of our young people during this challenging but exciting time, never has it been more critical for us as their parents to become savvy as to the execution of Satan’s plan of attack in using fiery darts. I am awfully afraid we parents will need to allow the Holy Spirit to do some surgery on our own thinking before we will be prepared to guide our children safely through this adolescent period. In my opinion, Chapter Seven is as much for the parents as it is for the adolescent, for by reading and meditating on the information therein much of our own misconceptions regarding this period of life will be exposed. Then we will be prepared to guide our children over this tumultuous sea safely to the other side. 

…Our culture is quick to expose our adolescents to all sorts of romantic encounters on television, in movies, books and depending on the ability of the adolescent to access it, it can be pretty graphic. During these encounters our children are taught all about love and romance from society’s perspective; a society that pretty much rejects anything God may have to say about this subject. Then they file this misinformation away into their memory banks and draw upon it as they become more and more consumed with the search. p. 51 FD

   Over the next few blog posts, I will attempt to expose Satan’s plan of attack in deceiving parents as to what it is he is attempting to steal from our children. For God has some pretty wonderful plans for them in the area of relationships!