Tag Archive | loneliness

Alone but not alone…

Sep8
Ecclesiastes 3:4 – “There is a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.”

We stood by your grave today in the context of a calm and comforting autumn day

It was the first time since your passing that the two of us stood there, together

We stood there gazing in unbelief (still) that your name was on that grave marker

We talked about the loneliness that hung over us since we have been separated

And intensified since you moved to heaven

We were forced to move forward, without you, and without the comfort of each other’s presence

We were each on our own, and loneliness has been our constant (but hidden) companion

But in time we were reunited for a short while

Enough time to recall the past memories we all 3 had shared

Memories that were fresh and made fresher in their recollection

I heard myself laughing like I always did when the 3 of us were together

But hadn’t since you passed away and our paths took different directions

Now our brief reunion has ended

But we have tasted the sweetness of our laughter once again and felt its healing comfort

Now we will move forward returning to our individual paths

While the echoes of our laughter lingers in our thoughts

and though on our singular paths, alone but not alone!


Blessed are you who weep now,
    for you will laugh. Luke 6:21 b

Bored and lonely at Christmas…

Dec16

Not the usual word paring linked with Christmas, I know! Yet, I find that these two fiery darts collaborate to invade my thoughts this Christmas. My best friend, who was my confidant and companion, passed away early last year. By God’s grace, accepting the reality of her passing has been accomplished. Yet without her presence the temptation to be undone by the boredom and loneliness I feel without her is a recurring struggle.

We all know life experiences can sow seeds of loneliness and boredom. Contrast that with the fullness and warmth of Christmas and the mix can be unbearable at times. Lessening the fullness of one and intensifying the pull of the other. While Christmas is undeniably magical, life doesn’t always contribute to that magic. But life refuses to change its pace, no matter what it has thrown at us, even at Christmas time.

Donning a fake holiday countenance as our seasonal apparel, won’t remove the lonely and/or bored emotions hidden underneath. For when we withdraw from the celebratory crowd, those disturbing emotions come out of hiding. Emotions, or shall I say fiery darts, programmed to derail the healing magic of the holidays, in particular Christ’s birth.

So how do we, as Christians, outmaneuver the enemy’s attacks? In my book, Fiery Darts, I emphasize again and again the primary method to counter these attacks. Immersing ourselves in God’s word and connecting with Him in prayer. By becoming knowledgeable of the mighty weapons found in God’s word, we can preempt Satan’s attacks. We also increase our sensitivity to hear God’s Holy Spirit guiding us in prayer.

We achieve this through such weapons as is mentioned in Ephesians 6:16, “…above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one.”, and Isaiah 54:17, “No weapon formed against you shall prosper.” And Psalm 91:2, reminds us “My refuge and my fortress; My God in whom I trust.” (and these are just a minuscule sampling of what’s available.)

But we need to “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8 ESV” Calling upon God’s mighty weapons must be a daily discipline. For an unarmed Christian is easy prey for the enemy. During the Christmas season, there is an avalanche of emphasis on gift giving. It acts as a stealth weapon of the enemy. This emphasis causes us to become wrapped up in ourselves. A plethora of fiery darts including ones of boredom and loneliness will be used to devour us. To thwart the enemy’s plans, we must redirect our focus. Focusing instead on God’s mighty weapons revealed in His word.

Set backs will happen…

Jul8

I’m learning that reaching the final stage, Acceptance, in the grieving process doesn’t mean the road is now clear ahead. The other day, I made a run into town to Hobby Lobby, one of my favorite stores. I suspected this might be challenging. For you see, not only is it my favorite store, it was also Joney’s favorite.

Consequently, as soon as I walked through the door my mind was inundated with memories of the many shopping excursions Joney and I had made there. We never left that store empty handed. As a matter of fact, we often carried out more than we intended to buy! Sound familiar? But as God always does, He went before me and provided a shopping companion for me. My teenage granddaughter accompanied me thus lessening the impact going it alone would have had.

But eventually the time came to return my treasure of a granddaughter to her destination. Then I began the drive home. Once again, I was bombarded with memories. Memories of conversations that ran the gamut from deep spiritual thoughts to hilarious nonsensical thoughts. I could always count on Joney to spark a healthy dose of laughter to make the hard realities of truth easier to swallow. (Sounds like a line from Mary Poppins, doesn’t it)

Yet this time, I heard no ones voice but mine. And the quiet was, as they say, deafening . Loneliness enveloped me. I exerted much effort to block the negative, you know, fiery darts, with God’s Truth thoughts. Truths such as:

 fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10 ESV

 “My Presence will go with you (He was saying I was not alone), and I will give you rest.” Exodus 33:14, NIV

However, as strong as these Truths were, the cloud of sadness continued to envelope me. Sadness brought on by the loneliness I was feeling intensified as fear and doubt joined its rank. These fiery darts took advantage of my low spirits by pressing me with thoughts of additional complications I might be facing as I grew older and less likely to manage without help.

Nevertheless, I continued pressing in to God. Psalms 34 became my anchor. God kept saying, I will be with you, I will deliver you from all of your fears, I will save you, to take refuge in Him, and on and on. Words to focus on, to believe in and apply!

It took a few days for God’s words to steady me. But as the cloud slowly dissipated, I’ve come to realize that set backs are a useful part of the healing process. They have a God designed purpose. For when the fiery darts are fired, putting up our shield of faith is necessary, if we want to thwart the attack. By cooperating with God, He will utilize the effects of the set back for our good. The following verse reveals the outcome:

And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 1 Peter 5:10 NIV