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Parent’s Alert: “The Stirring”

Dec9

In my previous post, we determined that the key to happiness (the kind that we parents would desire to pass along to our children) was to have a relationship with Christ and being obedient to God’s word.

Okay, now that we have established this basic Truth of Parenting, what next?

   First, we must examine our own lives. Do we have a solid relationship with Christ? Does obedience describe that relationship? Parents, if we don’t have that nailed down then we are putting our children’s future at risk. Here’s why:

   During the time of adolescence there is a stirring that becomes keenly apparent to girls early on and typically to the guys a bit later. It has been assumed by our society that this stirring heralds the beginning of “the search” for a future spouse and as a result girls and guys begin counting the days when they will become old enough to date. And, as our society relaxes its standards, the age to begin this search becomes younger and younger. When you add to that the ease of communication between our young people, guy/girl relationships develop in their intensity long before the individuals have reached a level of maturity to be able to handle such intensity.
   The senses of young people are quickened to anything that speaks of romance. Our culture is quick to expose our adolescents to all sorts of romantic encounters on television, in movies, books and depending on the ability of the adolescent to access it, it can be pretty graphic. During these encounters our children are taught all about love and romance from society’s perspective; a society that pretty much rejects anything God may have to say about this subject. Then they file this misinformation away into their memory banks and draw upon it as they become more and more consumed with the search. FD p. 51

   Parents, our children depend upon us to help them make sense out of this ‘stirring’! And I am alarmed that the common assumption of many parents (even Christian parents) is that “this stirring heralds the beginning of the ‘search’ for a future spouse”. (FD p.51)

   The fiery dart here is subtle, dangerously so! Because if we misinterpret what this stirring is all about, then our children, by our own erroneous definition, will set them on a course that can in no way promise the happiness that we would have hoped for them. 

Next time, we will delve into the fiery darts of ‘the stirring’.

 

 

 

Parent’s Alert!

Nov23

Parents, may I have your attention?

   In my book, Fiery Darts: Satan’s Weapon of Choice, Chapter Seven deals with a phenomenon I refer to as ‘The Stirring’ which occurs during the time of adolescence,

 During the time of adolescence there is a stirring that becomes keenly apparent to girls early on and typically to the guys a bit later. It has been assumed by our society that this stirring heralds the beginning of “the search” for a future spouse and as a result girls and guys begin counting the days when they will become old enough to date…  p. 51 FD
…During this period, “the senses of our young people are quickened to anything that speaks of romance.” p. 51 FD

   Considering the vulnerability of our young people during this challenging but exciting time, never has it been more critical for us as their parents to become savvy as to the execution of Satan’s plan of attack in using fiery darts. I am awfully afraid we parents will need to allow the Holy Spirit to do some surgery on our own thinking before we will be prepared to guide our children safely through this adolescent period. In my opinion, Chapter Seven is as much for the parents as it is for the adolescent, for by reading and meditating on the information therein much of our own misconceptions regarding this period of life will be exposed. Then we will be prepared to guide our children over this tumultuous sea safely to the other side. 

…Our culture is quick to expose our adolescents to all sorts of romantic encounters on television, in movies, books and depending on the ability of the adolescent to access it, it can be pretty graphic. During these encounters our children are taught all about love and romance from society’s perspective; a society that pretty much rejects anything God may have to say about this subject. Then they file this misinformation away into their memory banks and draw upon it as they become more and more consumed with the search. p. 51 FD

   Over the next few blog posts, I will attempt to expose Satan’s plan of attack in deceiving parents as to what it is he is attempting to steal from our children. For God has some pretty wonderful plans for them in the area of relationships!

Just read the Book!

Sep7

     Recently, I came across a Facebook post of a young woman that troubled my heart. Her words revealed that fiery darts had completely obliterated her understanding of genuine love. Her words spoke of a relationship that was deceptive, inflicted pain, played games, desired what was not theirs! A relationship much like her divorced parents. What troubles me? Both the young woman and her divorced parents are products of the Christian church.

     Sadly, too many Christians have succumbed to the fiery dart (the temptation) to spend less and less time in prayer and Bible study. Much of the pain and trouble we have come to know in our marriages can be traced back to this fiery dart.  The more time we spend away from God the more disconnected we become and the more cloudy becomes our understanding of how to live life! 

. . .Again I must emphasize the necessity to persevere in prayer and Bible study!. . .What we teach our children, how we define true love, how we view our marriage, how we deal with difficulties, etc., will all be influenced by what we learn from God’s Word and prayer. FD, p. 76

     Is it any wonder that when we push the map (God’s Word) aside, we loose sight of how to get to where we need to go? The Bible, for instance, gives us precise instruction as to the purpose of marriage in Ephesians 5:25-26. But if we don’t avail ourselves to this wisdom, then we have the bloody mess (sorry, but I’m feeling this pretty strongly)  we find ourselves in today! 

. . .They don’t see how fiery darts have so dulled their sensitivity toward the things of God, that they honestly think they have no alternative other than divorce. Because, you see, that marriage was all about them; they just couldn’t see that it was an instrument of God’s to conform them into the image of His Son and draw an unbelieving world to Himself! FD, p. 75

    Did you realize that most people are clueless about why God designed marriage. Though we are without excuse, many of us in the church are as well! Please consider reading my book and in particular chapters 7 & 8, for more insight into love and marriage and God’s design for both.  

The Stirring?

Jun8

youth swo2013

 

At this writing I am pondering the typical week of incredible God happenings at my 2nd most favorite place on earth (1st being my home)!  This place is a church camp nestled in the Appalachian mountain range.  Our church’s youth are on their way home while my husband and I are soaking in a few more days of rest and relaxation at this blessed place.

I could write volumes about why this camp is so special to my family (it’s where my son answered the call to missions) and my church family (approximately 12 of our youth, since my son, have answered the call to missions due to the influence of this camp).

But the reason you will read a post about this amazing camp in my Fiery Darts blog is because of the prompting I received during a week of camp several years ago.  Those eventful promptings became the 7th chapter in my book  Fiery Darts: Satan’s Weapon of Choice.

Here’s an excerpt from that chapter:

During the time of adolescence there is a stirring that becomes keenly apparent to girls early on and typically to the guys a bit later.  It has been assumed by our society that this stirring heralds the beginning of “the search” for a future spouse and as a result girls and guys begin counting the days when they will become old enough to date. (p. 51)

Could it be that the stirring in our hearts (as adolescents) that initiates a search for true love is the Holy Spirit calling us to a love relationship with our Creator? (p.55)

This is where the fiery darts come in!

When campers attended this camp, they were presented with some rather antiquated ideas about romance. As I started chaperoning at this camp around 10 years ago, I have had the opportunity to observe the effect of these antiquated ideas.  (These ideas included such things as courtship – you know, the old-fashioned idea of a guy approaching the father of a girl for permission to court his daughter because the guy was interested in marrying this girl!  That’s the way it use to be done back in the day!)

Young people were encouraged to turn their hearts towards God at the onset of these ‘stirrings’ and learn from Him how true love was to be defined. Then upon that foundation all love relationships were built.

You might think that what I have described no longer fits in with our cultural ideas of love and marriage.  And you’d be right.  They don’t fit in.  Know why?

B/C OF FIERY DART THINKING

Fiery dart thinking will persuade you that the stirring is definitely the start of ‘the search’ for someone to date and someday maybe (but not necessarily) marry.  The thought that God is calling you to a love relationship with your Creator is absurd, by this particular worldview.

But over the past 10 years I have made some astounding comparisons between those who applied the instructions from Scriptures taught by the leaders of this camp and those who rejected those outdated ideas for society’s approach to understanding love.

First of all, those young adults who led the camp and were single not only promoted the scriptural teachings about love but they practiced them as well.  And as you might suspect, our campers watched in awe as beautiful love stories unfolded for these young adults. And also, as you might expect, they too desired to experience such love stories for themselves.  And couple by couple, I have had the pleasure of attending (and my husband has had the honor of performing) beautiful wedding ceremonies for many of our church’s young adults.

So, I ask you,

Who wouldn’t want to be able to experience a pure and beautiful love story such as I have described?

If you accept the fiery darts then,

be prepared for more brokenness than you imagine, more disappointments than you can bare, your happiness will be fleeting and your troubles will be difficult to manage.

It’s a no brainer, isn’t it.

Here’s what God has to offer anyone who would choose to follow Him and His lead.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Jeremiah 29:11