Tag Archive | Ephesians 5:25-26

Just read the Book!

     Recently, I came across a Facebook post of a young woman that troubled my heart. Her words revealed that fiery darts had completely obliterated her understanding of genuine love. Her words spoke of a relationship that was deceptive, inflicted pain, played games, desired what was not theirs! A relationship much like her divorced parents. What troubles me? Both the young woman and her divorced parents are products of the Christian church.

     Sadly, too many Christians have succumbed to the fiery dart (the temptation) to spend less and less time in prayer and Bible study. Much of the pain and trouble we have come to know in our marriages can be traced back to this fiery dart.  The more time we spend away from God the more disconnected we become and the more cloudy becomes our understanding of how to live life! 

. . .Again I must emphasize the necessity to persevere in prayer and Bible study!. . .What we teach our children, how we define true love, how we view our marriage, how we deal with difficulties, etc., will all be influenced by what we learn from God’s Word and prayer. FD, p. 76

     Is it any wonder that when we push the map (God’s Word) aside, we loose sight of how to get to where we need to go? The Bible, for instance, gives us precise instruction as to the purpose of marriage in Ephesians 5:25-26. But if we don’t avail ourselves to this wisdom, then we have the bloody mess (sorry, but I’m feeling this pretty strongly)  we find ourselves in today! 

. . .They don’t see how fiery darts have so dulled their sensitivity toward the things of God, that they honestly think they have no alternative other than divorce. Because, you see, that marriage was all about them; they just couldn’t see that it was an instrument of God’s to conform them into the image of His Son and draw an unbelieving world to Himself! FD, p. 75

    Did you realize that most people are clueless about why God designed marriage. Though we are without excuse, many of us in the church are as well! Please consider reading my book and in particular chapters 7 & 8, for more insight into love and marriage and God’s design for both.  

God does not want you to be unhappy or to suffer.

The title of this post contains two powerful fiery darts that when working in tandem produce a force so powerful that few can withstand it.  Sadly even Christians, (especially those who have been desensitized to God’s Truth), fall prey to the deceptive destruction of this wicked duo!

Folks, I’m convinced, the world (and desensitized Christians), have a misconception of suffering.  I think I can figure out why the world doesn’t understand suffering but why Christians?

Here’s my explanation!

Before Satan can be successful with the use of fiery darts, he must do a little groundwork.  As I mentioned in the latter part of Chapter Two, in order for us to be desensitized toward the lies of fiery darts, we must have our understanding of the Truths of Scripture diminished.  By tempting us to spend little time in God’s Word, our ability to recognize the lies of fiery darts is equally diminished if we give in to that temptation.  In the place of God’s Truth, the world’s concept of truth begins to define our thinking. p. 23, Fiery Darts: Satan’s Weapon of Choice

Okay, in a nutshell!

Christians don’t read and study their Bibles enough!

And because they don’t read and study their Bibles enough, they can be more easily persuaded that their goal in life is to be happy (with as little suffering as possible).  But no one lives this life without experiencing suffering–no one.  So where did we get the idea that we aren’t suppose to suffer?

When the world’s concept of truth trumps God’s Word in people’s minds (and I’m talking about church going people) then their minds become a target for fiery dart thinking. Thinking that keeps us from understanding that it’s not the suffering that’s the problem.  It’s how we react to suffering that is the problem!

When we begin to grow unhappy in a relationship, say a marriage, then fiery dart thinking will tempt us to justifying leaving the marriage.  For instance, the following thoughts are typical of the line of reasoning your thoughts might take:

“God doesn’t want me to be miserable.  Staying in this marriage makes me miserable, and that’s not good for my children.  If I could be happier with someone else then my children would be better off.”

Our world today tells us that if you aren’t happy in your relationship then the most logical and best solution is to break it off.  And since that is what most want to hear, it’s embraced as Truth.  But you know what the Truth is here?  Read this:

There is a way that seems right to a man,But its end is the way of death. Proverbs 14:12

I’m pretty sure that the root of our problem lies on p. 67 of Fiery Dart: Satan’s Weapon of Choice.

Because of the Adamic Curse everything in this world serves our flesh.  Therefore, relationships will exist to serve our wants and needs.  This is why the fiery dart that “marriage exists to make us happy” is so powerful.


READ ON: (As Mr. Bennett says)

Something basic to living life as a Christian must be nailed down here before we can successfully move forward.  The purpose for which we exist is to be conformed into the image of Christ. Colossians 3:9-10: “Do not lie to one another, for you have taken off the old self with its habits and have put on the new self. This is the new being which God, its Creator, is constantly renewing in his own image, in order to bring you to a full knowledge of himself.” (Good News Bible)

That means that everything and every relationship in our experience exists to serve the purpose of conforming us into God’s image in order to bring us into a full knowledge of Himself.  As we become more like Christ, we are going to grow into a fuller knowledge of God.

         So, how does the purpose for which we are to exist relate to the purpose of marriage?  In the book entitled, Sacred Marriage, by Gary Thomas, an intriguing question is asked, “What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?” pp. 67-68, Fiery Darts: Satan’s Weapon of Choice


Therefore, if marriage is designed to make us holy, then that involves conforming us into the image of Christ.  But how is that accomplished?  Scripture answers this question by pointing out that marriage is a picture of the relationship between Christ and His Church.  Ephesians 5:25-26, p. 68, Fiery Darts


The husband, then, is to love his wife using the way in which Christ loved the church as his blueprint and the wife is to respect her husband using the church’s submission to Christ as her blueprint.  The sanctification process, that is the process of making us holy, is the motivation for the husband to love his wife and the wife to respect her husband. When you see yourself and your spouse as objects of sanctification then how you treat each other will be defined by that understanding. p. 69, Fiery Darts

There’s a lot more in my book on this subject but honestly when I read Gary Thomas’s book, I confess the concept of the purpose of marriage to make us holy was news to me! ! ! ! !  But folks, it makes sense.  A lot of sense.

Have you ever thought, “I’m not happy anymore in this marriage (relationship),” and began contemplating ending the relationship?  Perhaps, you should read the rest of my book!