How does one honor Mother’s Day in a blog that focuses on negative thinking?

May11

 

Well, I’ve been thinking about that and it can be done.  But it will require a journey back in time, a time in my early twenties. (I am 64 now so that’s 40 something years ago.  Can anyone really remember back that far?)

Like many 20 year olds I was straining at the bit to discover what I was to be doing with my life.  I had my own ideas about what I wanted to do and often those ideas were in direct conflict with my parent’s ideas.  But look, I was in my 20’s and I didn’t necessarily have to agree with my parent’s ideas, right?  I had the right to speak my mind for I was an adult, (that was my thinking).

It was during this ‘testing of my wings’ time that I began to experience conflict with my mother.  For she had ways that I was quite judgmental of, so now and then I would confront her about those.  (For they were quite irritating to me, you see)  As you might expect, those confrontations usually ended in tears and hurtful words.  Slowly, through my own misguided attempts to point out to my mom areas where I thought she needed to make some changes, a wall began to form.

Then at age 21 I had an encounter with God that dramatically transformed my thinking–especially about the conflict between my mother and me.

As I grew in my devotion to God, He helped me to understand and see my mother in a clearer light.  He pointed out to me that to honor Him I would need to honor my mother.  And one of the ways I could do that was to stop trying to conform her into an image of my own making.

I felt very strongly that God was pointing out to me back then to accept my mother just the way she was.  I was to resist any attempt to point out changes I felt she needed to make.  Slowly that wall that I had constructed between us began to crumble.

So what’s the connection between fiery darts and what took place in my life  over 40 years ago?

I now know that my thinking back then was characteristic of a fiery dart attack.  All those common sense thoughts that convinced me my mother needed to be corrected were fiery darts aimed at damaging the relationship between she and I.

But when I allowed God’s Word to influence my thinking then my actions and attitudes towards my mother became more accepting.  So much so that those things which use to irritate me simply didn’t bother me anymore.

Even though I wasn’t wise to the particulars of Satan’s scheme to attack me with fiery darts, God was.  And because I was so saturated with God’s Truths, I was able to benefit from the wisdom of those Truths as I applied them to the struggling relationship I had with my mother.

As I listened and learned from God how to honor and show respect for my mother, our relationship steadily improved.  Now that I’m 64 and my mother is 90, I find that my admiration for her continues to increase.  I’m convinced that the relationship we have enjoyed through the years since that time in my 20’s is the by-product of a mother who was faithful to love (and forgive) and a daughter who chose to cooperate with God as He taught her how to honor and respect her mother.

Years later, as I absorbed less and less of God’s Word, I unknowingly allowed Satan to set me on a path of destruction.  But the unfailing love of God intervened and well you can read all about my rescue in Fiery Darts: Satan’s Weapon of Choice.

Sin is greater than Grace?

Apr22

Yesterday, a young lady sang a song (who has by the way a voice gifted by God. a natural innocently beautiful voice) during our morning worship service entitled:

Grace will always be greater than sin!

This special music performed by this young lady (who was masterfully accompanied by our choir) reminded us that grace always wins out over sin.  So does Romans 5:20,

 Romans 5:20, “Where sin abounded, grace did much more abound.”

But I’m sure you have noticed a discrepancy in the title of my post and the title of the song! Well, this is a blog that deals with fiery darts so hang in there with me while I elucidate! (Okay, I could have said ‘explain’ but where’s the fun in that!)

As my young friend sang her heart out, my mind began pondering the duel between grace and sin in my own life.  My mind turns against me often in self-condemning thoughts (or should I say fiery darts!) And even though I believe that Grace is always greater than sin, sometimes my mind’s thoughts reveal the opposite–that sin is greater than grace!  That’s the fault of my focus.

Now let me clarify something here.

Yes, I wrestle with self-condemning thoughts BUT they do not rule me because I do not focus on them.  A deliberate effort has to be made to focus on Christ instead. Since my Heavenly Father unveiled the Enemy’s plan of attack in the use of fiery darts, I’ve grown in my skill to focus on Christ.

Once Satan’s intentions were exposed and the tactics he was so skillfully using to produce such defeat in my life were revealed, then my instruction on how to counter these attacks began in earnest.  p.3, Fiery Darts: Satan’s Weapon of Choice.

You see, my dear readers, those negative thoughts, fiery darts, or self-condemning thoughts use to send me spiraling downward.  And excerpt from p. 15 of my book illustrates this.

What we think determines how we feel and what we feel influences our actions.  A negative action is often the result of negative thinking.  Understandably, if Satan can negatively influence our thinking then temptations to act negatively will be harder for us to resist. 

My plan is to apply what I have recently learned (yep, you keep learning as long as you are alive, right?) from the verse Philippines 4:8:

Finally, brothers and sisters whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such thing.

Since negative thoughts pop into my mind so speedily (I mean they are usually the first to arrive), I have learned that the most practical means of slamming the door in their faces is to create an uncomfortable greeting for them the moment they arrive.  That’s where Philippines 4:8 comes in.  For I am learning that if I fill my head with the kind of thoughts this verse refers to, then the self-condemning thoughts don’t really want to hang around.

Philippines 4:8 leads to the next step in fighting fiery darts which is taken from p. 79 in my book.

Afterword

Here are five simple steps to keep in mind when you are faced with a fiery dart:

 1.   Examine the negative thought.

 2.   Ask yourself this question:  What is the purpose of this thought?

 3.  Acknowledge it as a fiery dart, if the purpose is to pull you down in any way.  Then, personalize this prayer based on Isaiah 54:17, “May this weapon formed against me not prevail.” (Keep in mind that conviction brings restoration, a fiery dart brings condemnation.)

 4.  Search your concordance for a Scripture that addresses that issue, after determining the TRUTH you need to combat the lie of the fiery dart.

 5.  Call upon the TRUTH of the Scripture from Step 4, every time you are tempted with the fiery dart.  

Now I’ve come full circle.

Focusing on the fiery darts, (self-condemning or negative thoughts) more than you do on on the TRUTHS that contradict those thoughts is a sin and will result in stealing your joy. (We are thinking thoughts that attribute more power to sin than grace; so be careful here.)

Focusing on God’s TRUTHS instead will fill your mind with hopeful thoughts.  Knowing that His grace is always sufficient and is always greater than our sins, pulls us out of the mire those fiery darts have condemned us to, and the light of God’s grace fills us with hope.

Here’s the wrap up!

Some happy thoughts that I’m focusing on at present  (Philip. 4:8, remember) is that God does not ignore my needs,

Philip. 4:19, He supplies ALL of them

and that He doesn’t condemn me

Romans 8:1, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. 

Romans 8:28, AND that all things work together for my good, 

AND (drum roll…….)

His Grace is ALWAYS greater than sin!

Suffering? Nope that’s not for me!

Apr14

It’s only been a month since I returned from my 2 1/2 month stay in Africa where my son, daughter-in-law, and newborn grandson serve as missionaries.  And I am still processing the numerous lessons I was introduced to while there.  But there’s been one on my mind that continues to surface on a regular basis.

One of the conversations I had with my son as he was helping me get through a difficult time was the conflicting attitude many Christians here in the U.S. seem to portray.  It has to do with our attitude towards suffering.

SUFFERING?  Nope that’s not for me!

If I have lived my life as a good Christian should, then God will bless me.  And if something bad happens to me, I am going to pray and get as many  as I can to join with me, asking God to deliver me from this bad thing.

Please notice the following excerpt from my book, Fiery Darts: Satan’s Weapon of Choice, p. 38

Ever noticed how reluctant we are to suffer for Christ?  When someone gets sick, we automatically ask God to heal.  Take the suffering away and we deprive ourselves from learning how to handle suffering and as a result grow more like Christ.  Does anyone think that this life can be lived without suffering?  Not really, so why do we recoil from it when it comes our way?

Life can’t be lived without experiencing difficulty.  Yet the fiery darts persist in trying to convince us that if we live our lives as a good Christian should then our lives will be blessed and that should result in an easier life.  I don’t really think any Christian would say they believe such nonsense, but by the way we ‘recoil’ from suffering and automatically begin praying to be delivered or be healed, I think we are acting as if we do.  You think?

We want an easy life, or at least that’s what the fiery darts will try to convince us of.  But we experience salvation, the hope of eternal life, abundant life in the here and now–and the list goes on and on–JUST BECAUSE someone was willing to suffer on our behalf.

Be ever so careful my dear ones when hard times come your way.  There’s a sweetness in that trial that will only be tasted as we submit our wills to God and trust Him to work it all out for our good.  (Just like Romans 8:28 says)

James 1 encourages us to count it all joy when we suffer from trials and tribulations.  Why? Because there is something lacking in our lives and if we will only cooperate with God as we go through these trials, then whatever is lacking will be supplied by that trial.

Oh, I can just hear that fiery dart being whispered in your head about now.

“Are you kidding me? Whatever it is that’s lacking, I’m sure is something you would rather live without, right?”

You see, the fiery darts want to cloudy up your thinking so that you won’t remember verses like Jeremiah 29:11, where God reminds us that His plans for us are good plans that will give us a hopeful future.  The Holy Spirit reminds us, we have to cooperate with God as He works out those plans.

Are you going through a hard time right now?  As God to help you identify the fiery dart thinking that is keeping you from identifying the power God supplies you with to be victorious.  As a matter of fact, refer to p. 79 in my book and learn how to attack the fiery darts that are designed to pull you down so you will know NOTHING of the victory God has planned for you in that trial!

Thinking Happy Thoughts!

Apr3

While in Africa visiting my newborn grandson and working along side my son and daughter-in-law, I had pointed out to me by God a verse of Scripture that is powerful in fighting off fiery darts.  Here it is:

“Finally, brothers and sisters whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.” Philippines 4:8

For some reason I can’t explain, that verse had been totally overlooked by me until now.  You see my ‘go to’ verse to fight off fiery darts has been

“No weapon that is formed against you will prosper;” Isaiah 54:17

In my book, Fiery Darts: Satan’s Weapon of Choice, (p. 79) I urge my readers to do the following:

Afterword

Here are five simple steps to keep in mind when you are faced with a fiery dart:

 1.  Examine the negative thought.

 2. Ask yourself this question:  What is the purpose of this thought?

 3.  Acknowledge it as a fiery dart, if the purpose is to pull you down in any way.  Then, personalize this prayer based on Isaiah 54:17, “May this weapon formed against me not prevail.” (Keep in mind that conviction brings restoration, a fiery dart brings condemnation.)

 4.  Search your concordance for a Scripture that addresses that issue, after determining the TRUTH you need to combat the lie of the fiery dart.

 5.  Call upon the TRUTH of the Scripture from Step 4, every time you are tempted with the fiery dart.  

If you’ll notice in Step 4, I instruct my readers to search the Scriptures for a truth that will combat the lie of a fiery dart.  This is what I believe the verse in Philippines is making reference to.

You see, the verse communicates that we are to fill our minds with thoughts that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and/or praiseworthy.

Why should we do that?

It’s simple, really.  When you are bombarded with a fiery dart, it won’t turn loose of your thoughts very easily.  It will return. Consider the following verses:

Matthew 12:43 “When an impure spirit comes out of a person, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. 44 Then it says, ‘I will return to the house I left.’ When it arrives, it finds the house unoccupied, swept clean and put in order. 45 Then it goes and takes with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that person is worse than the first. That is how it will be with this wicked generation.”

I thought of this verse as I contemplated what happens in our minds after we have rejected a fiery dart with Isaiah 54:17.  When we rid our mind of the fiery dart thought it’s imperative that we fill the space the fiery dart occupied with a positive thought.  (Philippine 4:8) Right?

So, the smart thing to do would to fill that space with a Truth given to you by God based on His Word that nullifies that fiery dart.  See, I told you it was simple!

It is so disheartening to me as I listen to my fellow Christians who by their conversation I can tell they are loosing the battle against fiery darts.  These are dear ones who haven’t developed the sensitivity to recognize the fiery darts that are bent on destroying them.

Please dear ones, learn how to recognize those fiery darts and how to wage war on them.  You shouldn’t be having so much defeat in your lives; you should be glorifying your Heavenly Father by accepting the power He extends to you to be victorious over them.

Fiery Darts? Oh I know what that is!

Mar27

FYI I have recently returned from a 2 1/2 months stay in the land of Uganda in order to visit with my son, daughter-in-law, and brand-new grandson.  And while I went there on a grandmother’s mission, God added an aspect to my mission that was quite unexpected.

I won’t go into any details here about the alterations God made in my trip but I invite you to read about that in my other blog:

http://missionarysmom.wordpress.com

I mention my trip because of the insight God gave me due to my experiences there into what He continues to teach me about fiery darts.

* * * *

First of all, I’d like to address something that became apparent to me during my stay in Uganda.  I am concerned that the term ‘fiery darts’ is a term perhaps overly familiar to Christians.  Why would that cause me concern?

If you are overly familiar with something, you tend to take it for granted.  Right?  So in applying this thought to the term fiery darts, it is becoming apparent to me that when I bring up fiery darts in a conversation most people (esp. Christians) assume that they know  what I’m talking about.  And I believe they do too; just not as much as they think they do.

It took an in-depth study and lots of years of personal experience for me to be able to identify the fiery darts that were plaguing my mind.  Then after God introduced me to what fiery darts were (and who was responsible for wielding this weapon against me), He began teaching me as to how I could counter their attacks.

From all of that came the book:

Fiery Darts: Satan’s Weapon of Choice

Once you start reading the book or even just glancing over the table of contents, you’ll discover that there’s so much more to know about fiery darts than just being able to define them.

I encounter Christians who are unknowingly being victimized by fiery darts. While they might  even acknowledge a negative thought as a fiery dart, they are unskilled when it comes to preventing these fiery darts from defining attitudes and/or actions. Or worse yet, they aren’t able to recognize the fiery darts that’s victimizing them!

So what am I trying to say here?

What these Christians need to do is to educate themselves about this term they are so-o-o familiar with, because defining the term ‘fiery darts’ is just the tip of the iceberg.  Obviously, getting your hands on my book (or even rereading with the intent of studying it if you already have one) is something I strongly suggest.  The benefit of studying my book is that I have gone through the trials that taught me how to recognize and fight fiery darts.  You can benefit from the lessons I learned in those trials by making my book an object of your personal study. (You can’t imagine how much better that will be for you!)

Or do an in-depth study of your own on this subject.  Whatever you do find out all that you can to thwart the attacks of fiery darts.

In my next post, I’d like to share with my readers a little jewel God gave me while in Africa which added to my own arsenal to counter the attack of fiery darts.

How to get my book

All you have to do is to google the title of my book:  Fiery Darts: Satan’s Weapon of Choice  to locate my book online.  And for you e-readers it’s available on Kindle!

Or type in the following website:  http://newbookpublishing.com     to order a book from them. (they have it on Kindle as well)

And for those of you who live in my area, you can get a book from me personally.  Contact me at     janetwarrenlane@gmail.com   for details as to cost.

The Light of Christmas!

Dec24

Christmas is a wonderful time of the year but the further away we get from celebrating the birth of Christ then the more challenging it becomes to experience all the wonders this blessed holiday has to offer.  The fiery darts that so cleverly counterfeit the joys of Christmas have overshadowed this blessed holiday to the point that we have all but forgotten the child whose birth we are supposed to be celebrating.

And what’s been the results?  Christmas has become the most stressful time of the entire year for many people.  The worship of self has overshadowed worship of the Christ Child.  People are more concerned with what they are getting than in what they are giving.  And with the economy on a downturn like it is, the lack of money to spend on Christmas presents creates depression of an alarming nature.

As I see this darkness growing and spreading its evil tendrils across our land threatening to extinguish the Light of Christmas, I am tempted to despair.  That is until I open my Bible and I read John 1:5

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

You see the light referred to in this verse is Christ.  What reassurance, what hope we have in these dark days that the light of Christ will overcome the darkness!

Recently our nation has witnessed darkness in its most evil form attempting to eradicate everything of life and light of Christmas.   Those directly affected by this dark evil were left with no heart to celebrate Christmas and who could blame them?  Yet, today I read that though many of those affected by this evil had extinguished their Christmas lights, slowly but surely these hurting people were turning their Christmas lights back on! The Light of Christmas in turn shines bright upon them, eradicating the dark evil while sending forth its blessed healing rays.  Their simple but bold and courageous act affirms unquestionably the rock solid truth expressed in John 1:5.  

Darkness, no matter how evil will never overcome the light!

More on saying goodbye!

Nov23

Here’s another thought God gave me in my time with Him this morning!

Why is it that we as parents of grown children struggle so with the fiery darts of loneliness and depression when our children and grandchildren (especially those who live a long ways from us) depart after a visit?  I have some thoughts regarding that!

For me, my struggles with these two fiery darts are dramatically diminished as long as I bring the power of Scripture to bear upon them.  Yesterday, God helped me to understand the impact of focusing on His blessings in keeping the temptations of loneliness and depression at bay.  And I am here to tell you, “It works!”

In addition, God gave me another thought this morning that I feel I must share with you.

Part of our problem is that we struggle to accept reality.  The reality is that children grow up and often move away from their parent’s home, town, (and sometimes even country)!  That’s normal, that’s as it should be.  But we think we would be happier if they lived closer and mourn the fact that they don’t!  As long as we think on these little ‘t’ truths, we open the door of our minds to an onslaught of fiery darts.  The results of that?  Read on!

We will become more and more self absorbed!

Our notice of families who live close to each other will be intensified and we will begin to envy them and feel sorry for ourselves.

The distance between ourselves and God will continue to expand.

Our time with God will diminish and become less fruitful.

Mentally and emotionally we will be bummed out, and that will begin to take a toll on us physically!

IT’S A DOWNWARD SPIRAL!

I know that the fiery darts will always nag at my mind!  Such as: I’m getting too old to become adventurous.  How do I know my health won’t play out?  Physically I just can’t manage as much as I use to.  I’m running out of time; it’s just too late to attempt new things.

If I allow myself to think like that then that abundant and prosperous life God has for me in John 10:10b and Jeremiah 29:11 will indeed pass me by.

So perhaps now you understand why it is vital to be deliberate about our thinking!  God has given us some excellent advice in Philippians 4:8 about how we should be directing our thoughts:

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things. (NIV)

And the results of this kind of thinking?

We will begin to realize we have more time to spend with God! (The benefits of that cannot be measured!)

We will become less self absorbed! (Our world won’t be so centered on us!)

Our health will improve b/c we are in a healthier mental and emotional state!

We will begin to enjoy the freedom to pursue things we wouldn’t consider or afford as long as we had the responsibility of caring for our children. (I took a flying lesson recently!)

We begin to respond normally to those difficult goodbye’s.  Sad, of course, b/c we miss them and b/c we enjoy having them around, and we love making those memories with them, but we soon get back on our feet and move on to enjoy the life and benefits of the empty nest God has ordained for us.  Because as God tells us in Jeremiah 29:11,

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (NIV)

and John 10:10b,

 I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.(NIV)

Focusing on Our Blessings!

Nov23

Watching tv!

Our family experienced a unique Thanksgiving this year.  Since my husband and I plan to visit our missionary son soon, our daughters decided to celebrate Christmas and our family fall festival, plus Thanksgiving all in three days!  Therefore our schedule looked something like the following:

Day One – Hayride and Cookout

Day Two – Christmas

Day Three – Thanksgiving

We crammed a bunch of memories in those 3 too short days but the effort was well worth making.  God blessed us with comfortably cool days so, when we didn’t have them otherwise occupied, our young grandchildren were laughing, exploring, imagining; just cramming as much memory making as they could in the short time they were together.

Oh, it was a lovely, chaotic, noisy, busy, draining, and all together wonderful way to celebrate the holidays.  Two of my daughters even came up with two creative titles for the week: 1) Thankmas or 2) Christgiving!  A blend of Thanksgiving and Christmas!

And even our missionary son got to be a part of the celebration b/c today we video chatted with him so ALL the family got to share Thanksgiving together.  Now this is a pretty big deal, b/c one of our daughters traveled about 16 hours to get here, and our daughter-in-law had just given birth to our little grandson!  So there we were, all our daughters, their husbands, their children, my mom, my husband’s mom, our son, daughter-in-law, and newborn grandson, sharing the day together!  So-o-o much to be thankful for!

But now the house is quiet (stone cold quiet), and I have sat down to watch a little tv (trying not to focus on how quiet it is). And here come the fiery darts! ugh!  The sole purpose of these trouble making thoughts is to influence me to focus on my loses instead of my blessings so that I will become lonely and depressed!  And you know what?  That’s exactly what would happen if I gave in to such thinking!

BUT THAT WON’T HAPPEN!

Know how?

I WILL FOCUS ON MY BLESSINGS!

God showered His blessings on our family this week.  I mean He abundantly showered us! (He does that a lot for His kids).  Sure it’s hard for my family to do what it does that’s just the plain truth of it.  BUT our blessings far outnumber (above and beyond) any of the hard things!

So, if after your celebration, you get blasted by fiery darts–remember:

COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS–AND LET THAT BE YOUR FOCUS!

That my friends will cause those fiery darts of loneliness and depression to fizzle in no time flat.  They won’t have enough force to rule your thoughts and thereby define your actions.  You’ll be free of their negative influence and peace will guard your heart and mind.  After all, that’s just what God promised in Philippians 4:67:

Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Making Memories!

Oct20

So, to recap my last two posts on Negative Teasing, the fiery dart is:

It’s okay to make put down statements about someone as long as you are teasing!

 The verse to counter this lie is:

 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29

 And remember, you can tease someone in a fun way without it being negative.  Just ask yourself this question, “Will what I want to say benefit or  build up the hearer?”  Remember now, just because what you are saying makes them laugh doesn’t mean it’s wholesome talk!

NOW, LET’S EXAMINE “MAKING MEMORIES!”

Memories happen with the living of life obviously, and if you are not careful you will live your whole life overlooking the importance of being deliberate about making memories. Consider this:  fiery darts are subtle lies that on the one hand contain common sense truths, that when examined from a Christian worldview, turn out to be nothing short of a lie.  Therefore, when you think about making memories the fiery darts you may have to deal with may go something like this:

Making memories means taking vacations; something our family just can’t afford!  Besides even if we could afford it we don’t have the time!

Yes, times are hard and vacations figure way down on the priority list when it comes to deciding how to manage our income.  The fiery dart here is that vacations are not a priority.  So we give up the opportunity to spend time together as a family, away from the demands of our daily routines.   Fiery dart thinking in this case is designed to keep hidden from us the value of drawing away from our daily grind to experience the healing and rejuvenation that this venue provides in making memories.

Therefore, time and money, are prime sources to spawn a fiery dart when you are contemplating taking your family on vacation.  It takes a great deal of strength to resist the fiery dart that you don’t have the time to go on vacation. Therefore, it’s vital to the well being of your family to recognize this temptation for the fiery dart that it is.

We have only to examine the life of Jesus to understand the value of drawing apart from the world in order to spend time with those you love.  He did this with his disciples and most importantly with His Father.  We should do no less with our own families.

But realistically, full-blown vacations for some of you are beyond your resources.  So what are you to do about spending time together to add to your store of  memories with the family?

If taking a full blown vacation is out of the question, then get creative and plan inexpensive events with the expressed purpose of spending time focused time together.  You don’t even have to spend money, or at least very little money.  There’s parks nearly everywhere and they are free.  Pack a picnic lunch and a blanket, maybe a ball and bat or frisbee, some good reading material, music cd’s, the kids favorite toys, or bikes  whatever suits your fancy and go enjoy some quality time with your family.  And, oh yeah, make it a practice to do this ever so often.  You’ll be so glad you did, especially when you get together in days to come and discover that you have a large store of memories to draw from.

The previous is just one idea, but I’m sure that if you put your mind to it, you’ll come up with an abundance of ways to spend some special times with your family and make those wonderful memories.  Remember, these events should be designed to not only give your family time to spend with each other, but that time should be focused time.

Hey, I just had a great idea!  Why don’t you send me your creative ideas for family outings.  I’ll post them so we can get ideas from each other! And, of course, share the fiery darts that interfered with your family outing plans.  We all need ideas on how to overcome those menacing temptations.  

Be prepared though for those fiery darts that will mess with your plans.

This isn’t the time to deal with “stuff”. (Stuff should be dealt with, just not  during your making memories time!)

Also, you’ll be tempted to include activities that having nothing to do with your little vacation-like time.  (Remember, your family should have your undivided attention during these times!)

Let’s review the fiery darts of making memories:

  • Making memories means taking vacations and we can’t afford them.  (If that’s how you define making memories then you’ve just been sacked by a fiery dart thought!)

  • We don’t have time to take a family outing. (But you do have time to deal with the issues, conflicts, and stresses that being too busy creates?)

  • I’m not sure my family would think that taking a family outing would be much fun.  (Sure, if this isn’t something you do very often.  But the more you do it and the more careful you are about planning them, then the more fun they’ll become!)

Undeniably, making memories can certainly be enriched by enjoying focused time together either during a vacation or a family outing.  But as we are always fashioning memories by just living life, next post I would like to address a more common aspect of memory making. 

Why the big deal about negative teasing?

Sep18

No matter how hard you may laugh, at some level negative teasing inflicts pain!

You may think, “Oh, that’s not enough pain to pay any attention to!”  Oh really!  So you are saying that it’s okay to inflict pain if it’s minuscule?  But is that the focus you should have?  May I remind you of the verse about coarse jesting?

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29

Our homes should be the safest place on earth when it comes to the development of our personhood.  We should never have to fear being attacked by those who are suppose to love us the most.  So, with all the emphasis on feeling good about yourself, and maintaining a positive self-image why do we put up with negative teasing, I ask you?  I go back to the influence of media such as tv and/or movies.  If you allow yourself or your children to be overly exposed to the negative humor that saturates most of the shows, then you and your children will be spouting out negative phrases before you realize it!  To avoid this:

WE MUST FILL OUR MINDS AND THE MINDS OF OUR CHILDREN WITH WORDS THAT WILL BE HELPFUL WHEN THEY EXIT OUR MOUTHS! ! !

How is that done?  Consider the following:

1.  All you have to do is make wiser choices about what you watch and what you allow your children to watch.  Thankfully, there are options even on tv and the movies that have a more positive influence on the way we and our children can be influenced to interact with others.  

2.  Fill your minds with words from Scripture.  Like Ephesians 4:29 (to begin with)!  Make it a habit to memorize Scripture and model this habit for your children.  

3.  Post verses that you have written on cards and display them around the house.

4.  Make Scripture an integral part of your family’s daily experience.  Insert Scripture whenever you can to apply to a situation.  For instance, every child’s name means something and particular verses can be ascribed to enhance that meaning.  This might give a child an extra motivation to exhibit actions that live up to their name’s meaning.  

Consider calling upon Scripture to meet the need of the moment such as when your child is afraid, like the following: Psalm 56:3, “When I am afraid, I will trust in you.”

5.  Instill in your children the importance of personal devotions.  And remember, the most effective method of teaching our children to have a time of personal devotion is to model this behavior for them!

6.  Be wise in choosing the music you listen to and what you allow your children to listen to. Never underestimate the influence of music. And listen to the lyrics.  (Google the lyrics to the songs, if you can’t understand them!)  If you find something troubling, then Parent’s do something about it.  BTW, if your child is making good choices about the music they are listening to, then by all means, praise them for it!

7.  Encourage your children to hide God’s Word in their hearts.  Get them involved in Bible study and Bible drills.  Do you want your child to be wise and strong of mind?  The absolute best source for that is The Bible, parent!

I think this is a good enough start.  So take it from here and run with it.  I’m confident I have not exhausted all the possibilities of ways to fill your minds and your children’s minds with positive thinking so that the overflow will  also be positive.

And a final word here.  

Always remember, as life happens in your family, memories are being made. Verbal interaction should always be laced with grace.  So be deliberate about making positive memories and minimizing the negative.  The reward for your diligence will provide your family with sweet reminiscing during those family get togethers in the days to come.