Archives

God, Our Logistics Coordinator wrap up!

Jun23
This my friend, is how you conquer the fiery dart of worry!

This my friend, is how you conquer the fiery dart of worry!

I am just a worrier. It’s the way I was made.  I can’t help it!

     The next time you make that statement or hear someone else make that statement, I hope you will refer to my blog posts. You see, worry is a major fiery dart! Worry will create all sorts of turmoil within your mind. That turmoil will make you vulnerable and a prime target for fiery darts that will undermine your trust and faith in God.  

     If you ever have any thoughts like the ones I opened with in this post, then plant your feet firmly in God’s Word and

1 – Recognize those thoughts for the fiery darts that they are

2 – Reject them outright for dear readers they are nothing but lies

3 – Replace them with Truth thoughts (go to your computer and type in the phrase “verses about worry” for there you will find a bunch of them. God has a lot to say about worrying) but I highly recommend,

 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:67 (NIV)

     Now that you have had the opportunity to read my last two posts illustrating, through personal testimony, why I see God as my logistics coordinator, I hope I have given you food for thought that will deflect all those fiery darts that tempt you to worry. He will prove to you, as He does for me over and over again, that He can be trusted to work all things out for my good (ooh, sounds like Romans 8:28 doesn’t it!)  That, my dear readers is a liberated way to live!

God: Our Logistics Coordinator – Part Two

Jun18
Friends, for such a time as this!

Friends, for such a time as this!

 

Now for Part Two

(You are simply not going to believe this!)

     It was early Sunday morning and I had stolen away to spend some alone time down by the quiet bubbling creek that runs through the middle of the camp.  The quietness was suddenly broken by the familiar ring of a Skype call from my son.  I had been in communication with him several times during my stay at the camp.  

But this conversation wasn’t to be about “Hey momma, how are things going at camp?”  

No, this time there was trouble! 

    Fighting had broken out a little too close for comfort where my son and his family and team lived.  They were in lock down and on standby waiting for the call that would determine their exit strategy.  

(Okay readers, at this point I’m pretty sure you can imagine the fiery darts aimed in my direction!)

     Immediately, I ran to the cabin to share this alarming news with my friends and to contact my husband. He cancelled his sermon, and led our congregation in a time of prayer for our son and the situation there.  

     That evening my friends and I were attending camp church, where the congregation was challenged to pray about the urgent situation concerning my son.  Then during the course of the pastor’s sermon, he mentioned that my son’s boss would be on campus on Wednesday.

(Stop, did I hear what I just thought I heard?)

     Yes, I had heard right.  But you must understand this.  My son’s boss lives in Africa! I live an 8 hour drive from the camp I was visiting.  This was the very first ladies retreat I had ever attended at this camp.  My son’s boss doesn’t come to America that often! Therefore, consider the logistics God had to coordinate to bring the two of us together at the precise time and location that He did.  

     Yes, there were some tense moments. Yet, just as the fiery darts of fear were in position to reek havoc in my mind and heart, God began glorifying Himself as my Logistics Coordinator!

(Update:  the situation calmed down and while my son and his team and their families have to have armed guards with them wherever they go, they did not have to leave! They are continuing to minister and making Christ known to the blessed ones they have been called to serve. Praise God!)

God – Our Logistics Coordinator! or How to Fight Worry! Part One

May27

 

This is me; not trusting!

This is me; in worry mode!

 

     Awhile back, two of my friends and I took a road trip to attend a ladies’ retreat in the mountains; about an 8 hour drive from our homes. (Of course, that’s just the drive time; we stopped at Cracker Barrel going and coming. The two in one experience–eating and shopping, you know. Well then, let’s say 8+ hours.)  We learned a lot about each other, made a heap of memories, and discovered a rather unique character trait possessed by God.  It has taken numerous experiences for God to teach me that He can work things out without me fretting and worrying over how He’s going to do it.  So while I have been blessed by this trait of God’s, it wasn’t until this trip that I found a name for it.  And here it is:

Logistics Coordinator!

     A logistics coordinator, by definition, is someone who plans, implements, and coordinates the details for someone else.  After reading the illustration below, followed by the 2nd illustration in my next blog post, I hope it will become clear to you that acknowledging God’s ability to work things out for our good (Romans 8:28), is a powerful weapon in defeating worry.  So, let’s begin!

Illustration No. 1

     My friends and I were driving to a quaint little restaurant in the mountains for lunch. We had driven to this little lakeside restaurant the day before but had arrived too late to eat.  This time we left early enough to arrive in time for lunch and to enjoy a spectacular view in the process.  But while time was on our side as we made our way towards the restaurant on that picture perfect spring day, my gas gauge was not!  I notified my friends that we were getting rather low on gas and it might be a good idea to pray.  None of us could remember exactly how much further the restaurant was or even IF we had enough gas to get us there.  So, we prayed for a gas station!

    Now, here’s where the connection to Worry comes into play.  Under the circumstances, I am sure you can understand why we were sorely tempted to fret and worry.  You name the fiery darts that would be apparent on such an occasion and believe me Satan shot them at us.  And as I watched that gas gauge move closer and closer to the empty mark, and no gas station or restaurant yet appeared on the near horizon, I felt it was necessary that I come up with a plan just in case God’s plan was NOT to get us to a gas station in time.  I knew that my friends at the camp would come to our rescue, if needed.  But then we were in the mountains and cell reception was ‘iffy’ at best.  (Okay, sometimes you can over think a situation!)

     I resisted the fiery darts with all the strength I could muster from my lessons on how to fight (and win) against  such negative thinking.  I called on the 3 R’s of fighting fiery darts: 1)recognize the fiery darts  2) resist the fiery darts  3) replace the fiery darts (you remember, with truth thoughts.

https://fierydarts.wordpress.com/2014/02/17/the-3-rs-of-fighting-fiery-darts-revised-plan

     It was an effort on my part but by the grace of God, I maintained a controlled calm.  My friends were doing the same, but I knew it was a struggle.  The reason I knew that was because of all the wise cracks they were making.  When you are faced with a dilemma such as ours, sometimes laughter is a beneficial distraction.

     And as so often happens, a few minutes after the ‘need to fill the gas tank asap’ light came on (causing the oxygen level to be seriously depleted as we all gasped for air) there appeared the gas pumps (not station, just a couple of dated pumps outside a run down little  mom and pop type grocery).  And next door to them was the restaurant; still open!  We were rescued!

     Wow, I came away from that adventure convinced I had the best logistics coordinator in the universe (and of course, I did. We all do, actually). There is one more experience that I want to share with you that will illustrate the benefit of seeing God as our very own and personal Logistics Coordinator!  However, this is enough for now, so I will wait till next post and bring all this to a conclusion then.  

This is My Reality–But. . .

Apr5

Are you depressed over your present reality?

Do you find yourself wishing things in your life were different?

Are you a negative thinker, more often than not?

Well, my dear readers, don’t look now but you have become a victim of fiery dart thinking.  A fiery dart thinker has some curious characteristics. Here’s only a few:

Sees a cup half empty; instead of half full!

Focuses on self–primarily!

Knows little of contentment!

Is quick to find fault with others!

Lacks appreciation and gratefulness!

Has a difficult time accepting their reality; gets upset easily!

Nobody would want it said of them that they possess any of the characteristics from the list above.  And the good news is that while we may have such a negative bent, it can be overcome and brought under control.  But there are some things of which we need to become aware.

I have found in my own life, that there came a time when I needed to stop wishing things were different and to pray for grace to accept things they way they were.  When my problem was defined and I came to realize the power of negative thinking, only then did the light begin to shine:

As God continues to shed light on the darkness that plagued my walk with Him, I am developing an understanding of what has gone so wrong for so many. For it has become glaringly clear that negative thinking,. . . was at the core of my problematic walk with God…(FD p2-3)

While this game changing revelation didn’t occur until recent years (Oh how I wish it had but my reality is that it didn’t. I accept that and focus on all those powerful lessons I learned and am learning that I have to share with you), I have discovered some pretty exciting things.  Here’s a sampling:

I can be at peace in the midst of my storms!  (now I am not saying this occurs immediately but I get there a lot sooner than I use to!)

I see cups that are half full more often than not!

I’ve got more fight in me to resist those fiery darts so the negative thinking does not rule me as it once did!

I get attacked but I don’t fall down! (Hey, that sounds familiar doesn’t it!)  Well, it ought too, read this:

 We are experiencing all kinds of trouble, but we aren’t crushed. We are confused, but we aren’t depressed. We are harassed, but we aren’t abandoned. We are knocked down, but we aren’t knocked out.2 Corinthians 4:8-9 English Bible (CEB)

And may I add, that after an attack, I don’t dive into depression and turn on myself like I use to.  Those fiery darts just have lost their power to rule me! Yes, they grab me sometimes and depending on the degree of fire in them may shake me, but my training (you know, my lessons on fiery darts. It’s a book now!) empowers me to break free.  Hallelujah!

And you know that sense of contentment that seems to elude us far too often?  Well, let me just say, it doesn’t elude me anything like it use too.  And this verse contains the secret:    

   Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in what whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. Philippines 4:11-13 NIV

And finally, I’m learning to pick and choose what I allow to influence me.  Certainly, not the world. No tv show, actor, or actress, or the negative attitude of others.  Nope, I resist those fiery darts (and like I said, some are tougher than others, but I plant my feet and resist) and turn my gaze upon what’s important to Jesus!

 Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. Romans 12:2 (NIV)

Sometimes, we encounter some pretty unpleasant and difficult realities in this world, but take heart we get to choose how we deal with them, 

I would encourage you to remember that you choose victory or defeat. And know that refusing to choose is a choice to fall and suffer defeat. Victory is yours as Deuteronomy 20:4 reminds us, “For the LORD your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory.” (NIV) It is your choice! We know that Satan’s plans are to destroy us, but take heart for God has plans for us as well. Jeremiah 29:11, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’”(NIV) FIERY DARTS: SATAN’S WEAPON OF CHOICE, p. 45

Then and Now!

Jun18

THEN

As I gaze in thought upon my life prior to my lessons concerning fiery darts, I stand amazed at God’s guidance since those pivotal days.  Often, I find myself comparing the life I lived then with the life I live now.

During those ‘prior’ days, on various occasions depression would reach out and grab me, almost pulling me under.  Negative thinking, which I now recognize as fiery darts, dictated my attitudes,emotions, and actions.  I was a people pleaser and my bent toward negative thinking convinced me that not too many people in my life were very pleased with me.  Unfortunately, it seemed to me that there was abundance of evidence which confirmed my suspicions.  Thus, I spiraled downwards too many times.

Yet, during those days there were two constants in my life that prevented me from hitting bottom–my young children and my faith in God.  My children were small and I never doubted that I pleased them.  They were my constant reassurance that I was needed and loved.  And, although I did not seek out God’s truths of scriptures as I should have, God was constantly sending me messages which reminded me that He loved and accepted me.

It seemed that just when I needed His assurance the most, He would send me a lifeline (and often it was via my children or through a special word from God).  Often, all I could do was to cry out to God for His help and plead with Him not to forsake me (you see fiery darts had planted a serious seed of doubt in that regard). My strength was so deficient.   But because God was faithful to His child, I endured and the day finally came when my instruction on fiery darts began and slowly but surely so did my healing.

AND NOW?

You might think that the problems I endured prior to my fiery dart training no longer trouble my life.  If you thought that you’d be mistaken.  For I am still troubled by fiery dart thinking and some of those same troubles back then, still exist.  Yet, I can claim that though those problems still linger, these are blessed days for me.

How is that possible?

My fiery dart training has taught and continues to secure my freedom.  Learning to recognize a negative thought as a fiery dart and how NOT to permit it to rule my thoughts, attitudes, and actions is probably the greatest source of my victory.  Oh, I still have mighty struggles with fiery darts but they don’t have the power to rule me as they did before.  And that’s the clincher!

Fiery Darts do not rule me now:

And therefore, manipulate me to act and think in ways that would undermine my faith and attempt to pull me back into bondage.

Here are a few verses from The Bible that are powerful in depleting the power of fiery dart thinking:

James 4:7, “Therefore submit to God.  Resist the devil and he will flee from you.

Isaiah 54:17, “No weapon that is formed against you will prosper;”

Philippines 4:8, “Finally, brothers and sisters whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.”

That last verse I have recently discovered is super damaging to fiery dart thinking.  Fill you head with thoughts that are of the nature described in this verse and there just won’t be room for fiery darts to hang around.

So your next step?

Get your hands on my book:  Fiery Darts: Satan’s Weapon of Choice.  I have copies I can sell you (if you want me to mail you one) and it’s available online (try amazon.com and you can get it on Kindle too!)

How does one honor Mother’s Day in a blog that focuses on negative thinking?

May11

 

Well, I’ve been thinking about that and it can be done.  But it will require a journey back in time, a time in my early twenties. (I am 64 now so that’s 40 something years ago.  Can anyone really remember back that far?)

Like many 20 year olds I was straining at the bit to discover what I was to be doing with my life.  I had my own ideas about what I wanted to do and often those ideas were in direct conflict with my parent’s ideas.  But look, I was in my 20’s and I didn’t necessarily have to agree with my parent’s ideas, right?  I had the right to speak my mind for I was an adult, (that was my thinking).

It was during this ‘testing of my wings’ time that I began to experience conflict with my mother.  For she had ways that I was quite judgmental of, so now and then I would confront her about those.  (For they were quite irritating to me, you see)  As you might expect, those confrontations usually ended in tears and hurtful words.  Slowly, through my own misguided attempts to point out to my mom areas where I thought she needed to make some changes, a wall began to form.

Then at age 21 I had an encounter with God that dramatically transformed my thinking–especially about the conflict between my mother and me.

As I grew in my devotion to God, He helped me to understand and see my mother in a clearer light.  He pointed out to me that to honor Him I would need to honor my mother.  And one of the ways I could do that was to stop trying to conform her into an image of my own making.

I felt very strongly that God was pointing out to me back then to accept my mother just the way she was.  I was to resist any attempt to point out changes I felt she needed to make.  Slowly that wall that I had constructed between us began to crumble.

So what’s the connection between fiery darts and what took place in my life  over 40 years ago?

I now know that my thinking back then was characteristic of a fiery dart attack.  All those common sense thoughts that convinced me my mother needed to be corrected were fiery darts aimed at damaging the relationship between she and I.

But when I allowed God’s Word to influence my thinking then my actions and attitudes towards my mother became more accepting.  So much so that those things which use to irritate me simply didn’t bother me anymore.

Even though I wasn’t wise to the particulars of Satan’s scheme to attack me with fiery darts, God was.  And because I was so saturated with God’s Truths, I was able to benefit from the wisdom of those Truths as I applied them to the struggling relationship I had with my mother.

As I listened and learned from God how to honor and show respect for my mother, our relationship steadily improved.  Now that I’m 64 and my mother is 90, I find that my admiration for her continues to increase.  I’m convinced that the relationship we have enjoyed through the years since that time in my 20’s is the by-product of a mother who was faithful to love (and forgive) and a daughter who chose to cooperate with God as He taught her how to honor and respect her mother.

Years later, as I absorbed less and less of God’s Word, I unknowingly allowed Satan to set me on a path of destruction.  But the unfailing love of God intervened and well you can read all about my rescue in Fiery Darts: Satan’s Weapon of Choice.

Suffering? Nope that’s not for me!

Apr14

It’s only been a month since I returned from my 2 1/2 month stay in Africa where my son, daughter-in-law, and newborn grandson serve as missionaries.  And I am still processing the numerous lessons I was introduced to while there.  But there’s been one on my mind that continues to surface on a regular basis.

One of the conversations I had with my son as he was helping me get through a difficult time was the conflicting attitude many Christians here in the U.S. seem to portray.  It has to do with our attitude towards suffering.

SUFFERING?  Nope that’s not for me!

If I have lived my life as a good Christian should, then God will bless me.  And if something bad happens to me, I am going to pray and get as many  as I can to join with me, asking God to deliver me from this bad thing.

Please notice the following excerpt from my book, Fiery Darts: Satan’s Weapon of Choice, p. 38

Ever noticed how reluctant we are to suffer for Christ?  When someone gets sick, we automatically ask God to heal.  Take the suffering away and we deprive ourselves from learning how to handle suffering and as a result grow more like Christ.  Does anyone think that this life can be lived without suffering?  Not really, so why do we recoil from it when it comes our way?

Life can’t be lived without experiencing difficulty.  Yet the fiery darts persist in trying to convince us that if we live our lives as a good Christian should then our lives will be blessed and that should result in an easier life.  I don’t really think any Christian would say they believe such nonsense, but by the way we ‘recoil’ from suffering and automatically begin praying to be delivered or be healed, I think we are acting as if we do.  You think?

We want an easy life, or at least that’s what the fiery darts will try to convince us of.  But we experience salvation, the hope of eternal life, abundant life in the here and now–and the list goes on and on–JUST BECAUSE someone was willing to suffer on our behalf.

Be ever so careful my dear ones when hard times come your way.  There’s a sweetness in that trial that will only be tasted as we submit our wills to God and trust Him to work it all out for our good.  (Just like Romans 8:28 says)

James 1 encourages us to count it all joy when we suffer from trials and tribulations.  Why? Because there is something lacking in our lives and if we will only cooperate with God as we go through these trials, then whatever is lacking will be supplied by that trial.

Oh, I can just hear that fiery dart being whispered in your head about now.

“Are you kidding me? Whatever it is that’s lacking, I’m sure is something you would rather live without, right?”

You see, the fiery darts want to cloudy up your thinking so that you won’t remember verses like Jeremiah 29:11, where God reminds us that His plans for us are good plans that will give us a hopeful future.  The Holy Spirit reminds us, we have to cooperate with God as He works out those plans.

Are you going through a hard time right now?  As God to help you identify the fiery dart thinking that is keeping you from identifying the power God supplies you with to be victorious.  As a matter of fact, refer to p. 79 in my book and learn how to attack the fiery darts that are designed to pull you down so you will know NOTHING of the victory God has planned for you in that trial!

Thinking Happy Thoughts!

Apr3

While in Africa visiting my newborn grandson and working along side my son and daughter-in-law, I had pointed out to me by God a verse of Scripture that is powerful in fighting off fiery darts.  Here it is:

“Finally, brothers and sisters whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.” Philippines 4:8

For some reason I can’t explain, that verse had been totally overlooked by me until now.  You see my ‘go to’ verse to fight off fiery darts has been

“No weapon that is formed against you will prosper;” Isaiah 54:17

In my book, Fiery Darts: Satan’s Weapon of Choice, (p. 79) I urge my readers to do the following:

Afterword

Here are five simple steps to keep in mind when you are faced with a fiery dart:

 1.  Examine the negative thought.

 2. Ask yourself this question:  What is the purpose of this thought?

 3.  Acknowledge it as a fiery dart, if the purpose is to pull you down in any way.  Then, personalize this prayer based on Isaiah 54:17, “May this weapon formed against me not prevail.” (Keep in mind that conviction brings restoration, a fiery dart brings condemnation.)

 4.  Search your concordance for a Scripture that addresses that issue, after determining the TRUTH you need to combat the lie of the fiery dart.

 5.  Call upon the TRUTH of the Scripture from Step 4, every time you are tempted with the fiery dart.  

If you’ll notice in Step 4, I instruct my readers to search the Scriptures for a truth that will combat the lie of a fiery dart.  This is what I believe the verse in Philippines is making reference to.

You see, the verse communicates that we are to fill our minds with thoughts that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and/or praiseworthy.

Why should we do that?

It’s simple, really.  When you are bombarded with a fiery dart, it won’t turn loose of your thoughts very easily.  It will return. Consider the following verses:

Matthew 12:43 “When an impure spirit comes out of a person, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. 44 Then it says, ‘I will return to the house I left.’ When it arrives, it finds the house unoccupied, swept clean and put in order. 45 Then it goes and takes with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that person is worse than the first. That is how it will be with this wicked generation.”

I thought of this verse as I contemplated what happens in our minds after we have rejected a fiery dart with Isaiah 54:17.  When we rid our mind of the fiery dart thought it’s imperative that we fill the space the fiery dart occupied with a positive thought.  (Philippine 4:8) Right?

So, the smart thing to do would to fill that space with a Truth given to you by God based on His Word that nullifies that fiery dart.  See, I told you it was simple!

It is so disheartening to me as I listen to my fellow Christians who by their conversation I can tell they are loosing the battle against fiery darts.  These are dear ones who haven’t developed the sensitivity to recognize the fiery darts that are bent on destroying them.

Please dear ones, learn how to recognize those fiery darts and how to wage war on them.  You shouldn’t be having so much defeat in your lives; you should be glorifying your Heavenly Father by accepting the power He extends to you to be victorious over them.

Fiery Darts? Oh I know what that is!

Mar27

FYI I have recently returned from a 2 1/2 months stay in the land of Uganda in order to visit with my son, daughter-in-law, and brand-new grandson.  And while I went there on a grandmother’s mission, God added an aspect to my mission that was quite unexpected.

I won’t go into any details here about the alterations God made in my trip but I invite you to read about that in my other blog:

http://missionarysmom.wordpress.com

I mention my trip because of the insight God gave me due to my experiences there into what He continues to teach me about fiery darts.

* * * *

First of all, I’d like to address something that became apparent to me during my stay in Uganda.  I am concerned that the term ‘fiery darts’ is a term perhaps overly familiar to Christians.  Why would that cause me concern?

If you are overly familiar with something, you tend to take it for granted.  Right?  So in applying this thought to the term fiery darts, it is becoming apparent to me that when I bring up fiery darts in a conversation most people (esp. Christians) assume that they know  what I’m talking about.  And I believe they do too; just not as much as they think they do.

It took an in-depth study and lots of years of personal experience for me to be able to identify the fiery darts that were plaguing my mind.  Then after God introduced me to what fiery darts were (and who was responsible for wielding this weapon against me), He began teaching me as to how I could counter their attacks.

From all of that came the book:

Fiery Darts: Satan’s Weapon of Choice

Once you start reading the book or even just glancing over the table of contents, you’ll discover that there’s so much more to know about fiery darts than just being able to define them.

I encounter Christians who are unknowingly being victimized by fiery darts. While they might  even acknowledge a negative thought as a fiery dart, they are unskilled when it comes to preventing these fiery darts from defining attitudes and/or actions. Or worse yet, they aren’t able to recognize the fiery darts that’s victimizing them!

So what am I trying to say here?

What these Christians need to do is to educate themselves about this term they are so-o-o familiar with, because defining the term ‘fiery darts’ is just the tip of the iceberg.  Obviously, getting your hands on my book (or even rereading with the intent of studying it if you already have one) is something I strongly suggest.  The benefit of studying my book is that I have gone through the trials that taught me how to recognize and fight fiery darts.  You can benefit from the lessons I learned in those trials by making my book an object of your personal study. (You can’t imagine how much better that will be for you!)

Or do an in-depth study of your own on this subject.  Whatever you do find out all that you can to thwart the attacks of fiery darts.

In my next post, I’d like to share with my readers a little jewel God gave me while in Africa which added to my own arsenal to counter the attack of fiery darts.

How to get my book

All you have to do is to google the title of my book:  Fiery Darts: Satan’s Weapon of Choice  to locate my book online.  And for you e-readers it’s available on Kindle!

Or type in the following website:  http://newbookpublishing.com     to order a book from them. (they have it on Kindle as well)

And for those of you who live in my area, you can get a book from me personally.  Contact me at     janetwarrenlane@gmail.com   for details as to cost.

The Fiery Darts of Parenting Series – Negative Teasing!

Sep8

Because my book only contains two areas of application (marriage and adolescence) where fiery darts are concerned, I am being impressed to include a series of posts having to do with the application of how to fight the fiery darts encountered in parenting!  Up until now, the theme of my blogs have been a bit random.  Well, maybe not a bit but a whole lot random.  It was suggested to me way back when I began blogging to do something like I am now attempting, but it just never happened.  So, here goes people.  As always, I welcome and appreciate your feedback.

NEGATIVE TEASING!

Oh, mom, I was only teasing!  You know I don’t really mean that!  Lighten up, we were only having fun.  

Are you kidding me? !  Since when has it been okay to put someone down or say all manner of false things about them as long as you say it in a kidding way?  Since our day, that’s when.  And may I be more specific here–since our kids (and us adults) have been exposed to a steady diet of negative teasing disguised as humor on almost any sitcom you care to watch.  TV and movies are masters (and I emphasize the word, ‘masters’) at this type of negative humor and the power of their influence can be seen and felt whenever a group of people are hanging out together. (It makes me sad to write that!) 

Given the fallen nature of man, we shouldn’t be surprised that we have succumbed to thinking that humor is a lot more funny if the words we use are negative!  And while I’m not surprised that people who reject Christ and His teachings have embraced this type of humor, it bothers me DEEPLY that Christians have bought into this LIE! (I’m just calling it like I see it folks)  Actually, it’s one of the most popular and successful fiery darts in use today! Um!

I was disturbed about this when my own children were small.  So much so that I became very selective about what they watched on tv and videos (no dvd’s back then) and I limited their amount of exposure to both.  That’s when the family rule, NO NEGATIVE TEASING, came to be established.

Here’s an example of it’s early beginnings.  When anger is being expressed, it’s only natural to verbally express that anger.  Right?  And you can’t use just any words!  It has to be words that pack a punch!  So, whenever my children expressed anger in the midst of some conflict they were having with each other, out would come those words that had been sitting there in their minds just waiting for the opportunity to be released!  It would be at times such as these that they would hear me say something like the following:

  “Your sister (or brother) has a perfectly good name.  You will use that name when addressing each other.”

My children figured out that they could get away with using hurtful or negative words as long as they cloaked it in humor.  (Do you suppose the idea originated with Mary Poppins?  You know, “A spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down! There goes that fallen nature again, taking a good idea and perverting it!)

Well, just like Barney Fife, I nipped that negative teasing in the bud!  Whenever, I heard negative teasing disrupting the peace of our home, I countered with what became a very familiar phrase around our house,

“That’s negative teasing!”

It worked pretty good, I’m pleased to say.  And you can be sure that as my children grew older and wiser, they wouldn’t hesitate to call their father or I down when they heard either one of us violate the family rule!  (Parent’s struggle with that ole fallen nature too, you know! Not an excuse; just stating a fact:(  My children held my feet to the fire on that WHENEVER they had the opportunity.  (Don’t you just love the accountability factor that can prevail in a family!)

Actually, it’s all about making memories (which I’ll cover in another post).  I was keenly aware that my children would be making all sorts of memories as they grew up in our home.  I was determined and deliberate that most of those memories would be positive.  Therefore, negative teasing had no place in our home.  And apparently, God agreed!  Note the following verse:

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29

Taking this verse to heart then we will examine the words that are coming out of our mouths either in anger or in jest and if those words don’t build up those who are listening to us according to their needs, then we need to zip it! And keep it zipped until we have determined what our hearers need to hear and thereafter, fashion our words accordingly.  Good idea?